My daughter (16F) has refused to eat dog meat for about a year. Although we all enjoy a nice dog steak, me, my husband and her brother (14M) have tried to be as supportive as possible.

We aren't a family that eats dog meat daily, so it wasn't that hard for me to accommodate her. When I do cook dog meat, I also make something else for her and keep the side dishes common for all. She does have some seperate dishes, but most are common and I clean it if I have to cook for her.

Few months into refusing to eat dog meat, she tried to convince us to stop eating it too and would get increasingly angry when we said no. Me and husband shut that behaviour down hard and told her that she can follow whatever diet she wanted, but she cannot expect others to. She sulked for a while, but stopped doing that.

Last weekend, I cooked the family a big pot of chilli (a small dog-free one and a large one made from one of our Labradors, Cooper), so that I can refrigerate it and use for the next week. Next day, I found the fridge empty of both the chilli and turns out, my daughter decided that we were are being too callous about dog meat. She felt the smell was "too much" when she opened the fridge door and that she can't anything from the fridge after that without gagging or puking. She told me that I need to throw out all the dog-free food in the fridge and restock them.

Me and my husband were livid. Wasting food is never okay with us and that was a lot of food. I told her I am going to continue using the products in the fridge and she can either eat it or not, but I am not wasting food. That whole week she kept making faces at dinner while she ate.

As a punishment, I gave her the recipe and told her she needs to cook Max (another one of our Labradors) next weekend. She yelled and begged, but I stood firm. In the end, she did it.

When the cooking was finished, I told her that wasting food is never okay in this house and pointed out that instead of x amount of dog meat being used, 2x amount of dog meat (Since this seems to be confusing. I meant as in x amount in the pot she wasted + x amount in the new one. I didn't purposefully make her put more than what was used previously) was used because she threw the food away.

Now, she started crying and yelling at me about how awful and disgusting I was because I not only paid someone to kill Max (which my daughter is very much against), I also forced her to cook him and now I am also telling her that it was her fault.

She is really upset about this. So, I am wondering if I went too far. Should I have picked a different punishment? My husband and brother definitely think what I did was right while my parents thinks I was in the wrong.

I thought I will put it to a vote. AITA?

  • quartz242 [she/her]M
    ·
    4 years ago

    Aita and its consequences have been a disaster for the world

    • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      4 years ago

      "Console me for being an asshole and child abuser, Reddit:"

  • CoolYori [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    4 years ago

    I am taking the bait on this one. Vegan trolling is really stupid imho. It all boils down to being able to afford to not eat things. It is luxury and a sign of how wealthy a person is. While people like my family lived on literal handouts from the church when I was growing up. Some people are beggars and not choosers. Perhaps they should change story to involve a homeless person eating a dog to stay alive? Or would it have not work out as funny as the bait in that link?

    EDIT: Just saw the link in the post and changed it to reflect the real OP.

    • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      i'm sure it depends on the country, but that's a pretty weak take for the US. i was homeless for a long, long time, and there were plenty of other homeless people who were vegans. a can of beans is like the cheapest and most accessible thing. white boxing was the easiest way of eating decent prepared free vegan food, which was usually easier to come by than meat because people tend to save the shit they don't want/might not eat for later, which is usually vegetables and bread.

      • CoolYori [she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        4 years ago

        Yep I should have gotten off my 8 year old ass and got a job right?

        • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
          ·
          edit-2
          4 years ago

          Perhaps they should change story to involve a homeless person eating a dog to stay alive?

          i'm specifically addressing this part of your take. don't use homeless people as a reason to label all vegans as some luxurious wealthy hipsters.

          edit: furthermore, as a child you're probably just going to be eating whatever your parents eat. i'm not against people eating meat, i'm against attacking vegans as boogie and only capable of being vegan because they've got money, which is obviously not the truth.

          • CoolYori [she/her]
            ·
            4 years ago

            Dont try to put words in my mouth. Vegans are mostly luxurious wealthy hipsters, and you trying to tell me that others out there that live on the charity of others should tell those people to fuck off until they bring something that they like is a garbage take. Just because you had the resources that gave you the ability to choose what you eat does not mean that others do. That was my point.

            • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
              ·
              edit-2
              4 years ago

              lol you're a joke.

              i literally told you vegan food is way you're accessible than meat when you're homeless, and you're being a hypocrite by literally putting words in my mouth when you literally just said

              Vegans are mostly luxurious wealthy hipsters

              which is exactly the words I quoted you as saying.

              i demonstrated that homeless people have the ways and means of eating a vegan diet and explained the methods through which they do. you didn't have a real point, as I just showed you.

              edit: are you fucking with me and i'm just missing it? cause i don't understand otherwise how this is possible

              • CoolYori [she/her]
                ·
                4 years ago

                are you fucking with me and i’m just missing it?

                Far from it my friend. You won! I am going to go right now down to my local church and tell them to stop serving people food until its all vegan.

                • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
                  ·
                  4 years ago

                  whenever i went to a foodbank 90 percent of the food they gave out was canned vegetables and bread and pasta, and feeds usually have a vegetarian option.

                  • CoolYori [she/her]
                    ·
                    edit-2
                    4 years ago

                    You must live in an interesting area. You should come around Utah sometime. The Mormons will feed just about anybody but sadly they get to like decided what it is. When my mom would do it she would just get handed a sheet by the local Bishop all filled out by him. When my parents got divorced we so dirt poor that this stuff is all I had to eat for a long time. Perhaps there was an option like you say and I am just making as ass out of myself, but as you can see on that link its not really friendly in telling what is and isn't vegan. I am just trying to figure out how you feed people in situations where they have no choice. Sure you can walk away from stuff like the Mormon welfare programs but like is that really an option for long in an area like Utah?

                    • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
                      ·
                      edit-2
                      4 years ago

                      most of that stuff is vegan. most things are vegan. your parents didn't want to be vegan, and there's nothing wrong with that. anytime i've literally had zero access to meat it sucked. some people just want to eat meat, and there's nothing wrong with that.

                      it doesn't mean you have to attack vegans as boogie though.

                      most of the options on that mormon welfare sheet you just showed were vegan shit, save for the meat categories, dairy categories, desserts, honey, and the soups

                      • CoolYori [she/her]
                        ·
                        4 years ago

                        Did ya miss the part where I told you that the Bishop fills it out for you?

                        And playing the blame game really does work to push people towards your ideology. I would keep it up.

                        • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
                          ·
                          edit-2
                          4 years ago

                          regardless, your parents ate meat because they felt like it. a bag of rice is the cheapest shit ever, and most of the things that they provided you with were likely vegetables and pasta, just like everywhere else. you ate meat because you were a child of meat eaters. and if you don't want to eat meat/dairy now you don't have to. there are tons of cheap, affordable options to not eating meat/dairy.

                          you do not have the right to attack vegans as doing so because they're wealthy, and the only premise i can come up with that you would do so is because you feel guilty for eating meat and feel the need to attack people who refuse to.

                          sorry, but get over yourself.

                          • CoolYori [she/her]
                            ·
                            edit-2
                            4 years ago

                            Please keep it up with the garbage takes. I actually like being chastised like this. It kind of getting me a little hot.

                            • RedDawn [he/him]
                              ·
                              4 years ago

                              Nobody is chastising you tbh, I’m not a vegan and I often find vegans obnoxious but I can’t understand your position in this particular instance. It seems like you’re determined to feel victimized by this post somehow.

                              • CoolYori [she/her]
                                ·
                                4 years ago

                                You don't see how someone can get defensive about being attacked for something as simple as trying to survive? What am I missing out of this to clarify things for ya?

                                • RedDawn [he/him]
                                  ·
                                  4 years ago

                                  Nobody is attacking you for trying to survive, I can read all the comments, that hasn’t happened one time.

                                  • CoolYori [she/her]
                                    ·
                                    edit-2
                                    4 years ago

                                    The argument here is a moral one is it not? When you look at the link in OP its all about shaming people about eating pets. By saying that people like my and my family choose to eat meat when we lived off church donations its kind of an attack dont ya think? That is how I read things here.

                                    • RedDawn [he/him]
                                      ·
                                      4 years ago

                                      No, it’s not an attack. He just took a literal post from somebody else complaining about their vegan daughter and changed it to dog instead of cow to make the daughter’s position more sympathetic, for humor. If you read the post again you may notice that it doesn’t mention you or your family at all.

                            • garbage [none/use name,he/him]
                              ·
                              4 years ago

                              sorry that you need to attack other people to elevate yourself and put people down for doing something that you'd obviously like to do but don't have the self control to do.

                • raven [he/him]
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  4 years ago

                  You can criticize anyone at any time, even if they give you things and you accept them. That isn't hypocritical. You can criticize people for bad things they do even when they also do good things.

                  What would you have done with a homeless shelter that doesn't accept anyone who isn't white, or male, or cis? You wouldn't want them to stop housing unhoused people, but obviously that cannot continue, right?

                  The homeless shelter has the option to stop discriminating today and continue to provide shelter. These ideas are not at all in conflict.

                  No ethical vegan on this site is telling anyone who has no choice in the matter to die because they can't afford meat, they're just telling you that almost everyone can afford rice. I know this to be true because my family of 3 lives on the paycheck of one disabled family member and I manage to make good vegan food every single day of the week, and no one ever goes hungry.

                  • CoolYori [she/her]
                    ·
                    4 years ago

                    What would you have done with a homeless shelter that doesn’t accept anyone who isn’t white, or male, or cis?

                    Do not compare me being trans with the choice of being vegan. Lets just get that out of the way before you continue replying to me.

                    • raven [he/him]
                      ·
                      edit-2
                      4 years ago

                      I didn't know that you were trans, but my point still stands. Pick a thing that the shelter would exclude people for, it doesn't matter what it is.

                      My argument isn't about vegans being excluded, it's about the church deciding not to serve vegan food.

                      • CoolYori [she/her]
                        ·
                        edit-2
                        4 years ago

                        There is no choice in being trans, the skin color you were born with, and other things. That is what I am pointing out and its frustrating I need to do that. Being vegan is a situational choice for a person based on money and opportunity.

                        • raven [he/him]
                          ·
                          edit-2
                          4 years ago

                          I didn't say that. My argument is centered on the institution that is providing a service to disadvantaged people, which I clarified in an edit that I'm sure you didn't see because I made it just a moment before you replied.

                          I was comparing your argument "I'll just go down to the church and tell them to stop serving food until it's all vegan" to a similar bad argument I hear frequently "activists shut down a women's shelter because it didn't accept trans women, therefore the activists hate women"

                          • CoolYori [she/her]
                            ·
                            4 years ago

                            I was comparing your argument “I’ll just go down to the church and tell them to stop serving food until it’s all vegan” to a similar bad argument I hear frequently “activists shut down a women’s shelter because it didn’t accept trans women, therefore the activists hate women”

                            Here you are again comparing food choices to me being trans. Can you just fucking stop doing that?

                            • raven [he/him]
                              ·
                              edit-2
                              4 years ago

                              organization doing bad thing and good thing together "Organization should stop doing bad thing" "What? You want them to stop doing good thing until you get your way?"

                              It has nothing to do with you being trans, again I had no idea you were trans. I'm sorry that I worded it in that way in the first place.

                              Yes you can choose to stop being vegan and you cannot choose to stop being trans, that said it is also not okay to diminish veganism to "food choices".

                              • CoolYori [she/her]
                                ·
                                4 years ago

                                You are confusing my response to him as something that is in my main argument which its not.

                                Being vegan to me is a food choice and will never stop being one that is done out of convenience. That is my argument if you want me to speak it plainly.

                                • raven [he/him]
                                  ·
                                  edit-2
                                  4 years ago

                                  Well in that case you plainly don't understand what veganism is, and it really isn't up for debate because that just isn't what the word means.

                                  If by "done out of convenience" you mean "done when it's a choice you have" then I agree, but if you look at the poorest cultures on earth you see that they generally don't eat much meat because meat and dairy and eggs are the luxury, not vegan food.

                                  On an individual level eating meat is almost always a choice, and when it is not a choice no vegan on this site at least is going to fault you for it.

                                  On an institutional level eating meat is always a choice and that is why in this case we are targeting the system that is forcing non-vegan foods on people, not the people it is being forced on, unwillingly or otherwise.

                                  • CoolYori [she/her]
                                    ·
                                    4 years ago

                                    If by “done out of convenience” you mean “done when it’s a choice you have” then I agree

                                    Then we are in agreement! This is good we are no longer talking past each other. I know convenience is not a good word and I can admit that eating meat is luxury in some areas, but keeping chickens for eggs is really cheap for someone like my mom who did and still does. She uses the eggs to supplement her diet. Its done by a lot of families when I grew up who lived on church food.

                            • weenuk [she/her]
                              ·
                              4 years ago

                              Oh wow, just came across this. I'm sorry sister.

                            • sagarmatha [none/use name]
                              ·
                              4 years ago

                              it’s about institutional choices on who/what cause they’re helping, how far they’re willing to go to help, not about you or individuals, and it is sadly common that charities exclude from their services/do not have a good approach beyond 1 axis, see voluntourism or the salvation army

    • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      It's not really baiting people, it's satirizing this post:

      https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ij7etm/aita_for_forcing_my_vegan_daughter_to_cook_meat/

      Found it funny, posted it. Most vegans aren't chastising the homeless or native tribes, that shit is strawmanning for no reason.

      • CoolYori [she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        4 years ago

        One persons satire is another persons bait. Its all a matter of perspective. Also fuck off with your debate bro shit. I don't care what you think strawmanning is. Me growing up living off the charity of others is a real thing that happens to this day to others. You do not argue with people who are trying to feed you on their dime.

        EDIT: Changed some text after a reply

        • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
          hexagon
          ·
          4 years ago

          You've misunderstood me I think, the strawmanning is implying that anyone is criticizing you for it when no one is. People do what they need to to get by.

          • CoolYori [she/her]
            ·
            4 years ago

            Sorry for being in attack mode. I sort am getting a little defensive right now because another part of this thread.

    • Phish [he/him, any]
      ·
      4 years ago

      I also question how effective that kind of trolling is. I think the kinds of people who that might appeal to, people who have enough empathy to see the connection between dogs and more traditionally eaten animals, have already considered the fact that we eat pigs and not dogs and simply don't care. They're not reading somebody's fake dog chili story and experiencing a deep revelation about why they should go vegan. The only people who the dog argument can actually sway could probably have their minds changed if you talked to them like adults in the framework of a normal conversation. This kind of half-assed snark probably turns more people away from veganism than it attracts.

      • CoolYori [she/her]
        ·
        4 years ago

        I personally think it also drives people away from moving to the left. When have you ever seen some chud chastising someone over what they eat? Meanwhile I can link a few thread here on chacha that just flat out say you cant be a leftist unless you are vegan.

      • Comrag [any]
        ·
        4 years ago

        It's irony shitposting about a topic they care deeply about . It's the same thing as most of the posts on here, just on a different topic. I'm pretty sure they know this wouldn't convince anyone, as that was never the intention of the post.

        • Phish [he/him, any]
          ·
          4 years ago

          Idk maybe I'm jaded but I feel like there's more anger than irony in this kind of thing. At least posts here are funny. I guess it's possible they just suck at shit posting though.

      • chair [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        Lmao what kind of trolling drives recruitment?

        Somehow I doubt pig poop balls radicalised anyone.

        • Phish [he/him, any]
          ·
          4 years ago

          I don't think it's really "recruitment" with veganism. They're just trying to gross people out so they stop eating meat. I think there's a pretty huge difference between pig poop balls, which is used completely dismissively, and this long effort troll post about dog chili on reddit lol.

    • BeamBrain [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      How about a compromise? We vegans will stop trolling when the state stops taking our money and giving it to the beef and dairy industries.

    • ThomasMuentzner [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      the smug ,that they have in their conversation gives it away its just fine : "I am Vegan now , You are scum ! I am aboloshied of all guilt ! Witness me you peasants!"

      • zifnab25 [he/him, any]
        ·
        4 years ago

        I'm convinced that people who eat meat are seriously plagued by guilt, because even the most tacit concession of veganism gets interpreted as a personal attack on the listener. Like, a lot of people don't want vegans to exist in the same way they don't want homosexuals or minorities to exist.

        • PapaEmeritusIII [any]
          ·
          4 years ago

          a lot of people don’t want vegans to exist in the same way they don’t want homosexuals or minorities to exist

          I am not sure it is wise to claim that vegans experience that level of oppression

        • ThomasMuentzner [he/him, comrade/them]
          ·
          4 years ago

          "I’m convinced that people who eat meat are seriously plagued by guilt, because even the most tacit concession of veganism gets interpreted as a personal attack on the listener. Like, a lot of people don’t want vegans to exist in the same way they don’t want homosexuals or minorities to exist." - zifnab25

    • zifnab25 [he/him, any]
      ·
      4 years ago

      It all boils down to being able to afford to not eat things. It is luxury and a sign of how wealthy a person is.

      By the pound, not much is cheaper than rice and beans. After that, a lot of what you're paying for is "freshness". Canned foods are the cheapest. Frozen foods are next. Fresh is the most expensive by far.

      If you're cash strapped, there are very few instances in which a vegetable is more expensive than a meat. The only real exception is ground beef/pork, and only because the price-yield for fresh steaks/chops is so high and the ratio of steak-to-beef so small that ground beef becomes a kind-of edible waste product of the steak-making industry.

      At that point, it really is just a question of ethics. Will you or won't you participate in industrial meat production? There's no upcharge to sticking with legumes. It isn't even really a question of flavor (ask any Indian or Pakistani to send you a recipe). It's just a choice you make.

  • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
    hexagon
    ·
    4 years ago

    https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ij7etm/aita_for_forcing_my_vegan_daughter_to_cook_meat/

      • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        4 years ago

        Don't forget the "I'm a child psychologist and your child is suffering from delusions" posters.

    • acealeam [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      4 years ago

      jesus christ

      Just let her make a fucking vegan chili then.. Reddit is so fucking stupid

      • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        4 years ago

        Why of course, that girl wasted an entire pot of chili!

        And all he did was force her to slaughter an animal against all her moral and ethical beliefs.

        NTA NTA NTA NTA good parenting +1 +1 +1000 -- this post has 223 awards

    • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      YTA for not cutting off a limb of hers to use in the next pot of chili. If she doesn't want the flesh of some animal to be used, she needs to learn to provide a viable alternative.

  • SerLava [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    4 years ago

    Sidenote.

    While wasting anything is bad and should be discouraged, it's absolutely insane how intense the anti-waste ethic is around food. This is true in countries where people eat vastly more than they should, where the underfed are not underfed due to ANY actual scarcity, and where throwing away food instead of eating it would be incredibly healthy and productive.

    People just freak the fuck out at wasted food out of some remnant cultural famine practice.

    • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      Well, I think food waste freakout is a good sentiment, if those people would also support mandating grocery stores and production facilities donate their unused food.

      The thread this is from freaks out as if wasting a pot of chili is going to end the world, when those same people would probably defend Starbucks for trashing all their baked goods rather than donating them to the local shelters.

      We do have a lot of food insecure people in the US too.

      • SerLava [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        4 years ago

        Yeah, I'm talking about the kind of in-front-of-your-nose food waste that is hugely overemphasized compared to other forms of material waste, even including other, much more significant forms of food waste.

        With the way some people get fucking weird over a plate of leftover spaghetti, you'd think the concept of massive industrial food waste would get the same person to take up arms, but they don't seem to give a shit.

        And like I said, food insecurity has absolutely nothing to do with scarcity in most countries. Capitalism says we should literally throw it away instead of giving it away.

        Sometimes people are more concerned with the idea of the last breadroll not being rammed down their already overweight kids throat, than they are with the destruction of the environment.

        Conservatives who would never, never think about restructuring our supply chain to reduce waste and keep our planet habitable, are nonetheless deeply hurt by the concept of a small amount of food in their own garbage can, instead of diarrhea'd out in their toilet.

      • SerLava [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        Because of the fixed quantities in which food is distributed, and the rate at which it expires, the choices really can be either eat 15% more shit, or throw some away. Not all the time, but somewhat frequently.

    • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      It probably isn't very far off from pig, it's not like there's something actually different about the flesh of a pet animal and a farmed animal.

      • Comrag [any]
        ·
        4 years ago

        I'm pretty sure pig skin is the closest to human skin. A lot of cannibals have noted the similarities, with the only difference being human flesh is slightly sweeter.

        • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
          hexagon
          ·
          4 years ago

          We don't really eat a lot of omnivores, so I'd assume pig is as close to a dog as you'd get in a supermarket, right?

  • star_wraith [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    :sicko-instapot:

    Imagine this guy on TV talking about instapots and tossing some peppers in there with his miniature pinscher.

  • karl [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Children should obey, and are the property of, their parents. You’re legally allowed to make her swallow anything, including religious ideology.

    • AlexisOhanian [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      This was my argument when she asked how to open a can of beans. I commanded her to simply, open them.

  • BookOfTheBread [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    This sounds like a teaching moment to me, I hope you aren't going to give her any information on how to butcher or cook the dog. That would deprive her of the enjoyment of figuring it out for herself, kids are just too coddled these days.