I'm in too deep fellas, not sure they'd let me out scot-free. Thought I'd ask fellow operators.
Every day go to your boss(es) and say “this is the Central Intelligence Agency, how’d you get in?” then laugh menacingly
for extra points put your hands on your hips and wiggle your eyebrows while you say it
Here’s what you do:
- Take peanut butter and Nutella and mix it together in a ziplock bag
- Tape the bag to your bare ass and put your clothes on over it
- Go into your boss’ office and ask to speak to them
- When they ask what’s up, squat down, clench, grunt, and act like you are shitting your pants
- Before they can ask what the hell you are doing, reach back into the bag you taped to your ass and grab a big handful of your mixture
- Put it in and around your mouth, and maybe smear it all over your face, body, etc.
- ????
- Enjoy your new-found freedom
Tell them you're an owl, poop on their desk and scream until they kick you out. Thats what I did
Best case scenario: Get in contact with HR, say you're burnt out, ask for light duty in billing or the dog shooting range. After a few months you can do an internal transfer over to the NSA reviewing videos of people jacking it. You'll keep your 401K and you don't have to keep reifying your bloodoath.
Throw a goodbye gender reveal party at 1000 Colonial Farm Road, McLean, VA 22101, United States and make sure to invite all your colleagues
