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Men who can't cook for themselves are some of the most pathetic creatures. You're XX years-old and need a surrogate mother to provide your most basic needs? You can't google "how to cook X" on your phone and then follow a list of five instructions? You've got to force unpaid labour onto someone else because you're so desperately fragile in your masculinity that you might catch gay if you know how to work an instantpot?
Some people are bad at cooking for themselves, why do you think the plurlality of US jobs are food serfs? Idc who cooks, but I'm bad at it and I always waste time and money on bad meals when I make them. Why do you think being able to cook is an attractive trait in general for SOs? Why is it bad for someone to make food for you when I'd bet money you paid a slave to do it for you this month
Not being able to cook for yourself is like not being able to bathe yourself.
Bathing takes 5 minutes and its hard to make a shower that takes like shit, but yeah, great point :corn-man-khrush:
I work in a restaurant dumbass, I can make meals that dont taste like shit, but I dont like it. Its labor I'd rather not do. I'd rather have an equitable system where I get food provided to me by people who WANT to cook. Thats why I work in a restaurant, it keeps me from developing a eating disorder because I can just get leftovers we waste. If I make food myself, I waste it. Not everyone wants to cook, and some people really do. Telling everyone to cook for themselves is just like telling someone to learn code, or elae they literally starve lol. Cooking has always been a collective action, its not an individual thing lol
I think the specific problem here is that majority of the cooking falls on women and a lot of men don’t bother learning to help out. Some people have specific circumstances like yours where they don’t want/can’t cook, and that’s fine. women being expected to do the unpaid labor that’s the issue
I think they’re specifically referring to men who have literally zero cooking skill at all. I’ve read reports of men who literally don’t know how to boil pasta or make fucking oatmeal and need someone to do it for them. I’m no chef, but I know how to make fucking scrambled eggs and spaghetti for gods shake.
I will say, I think in our modern society women aren’t totally immune to this either. My partner is a terrible cook, she mostly only makes stuff that can be insta heated in a oven or microwave, she was impressed when I was able to make a good vegetarian chili, but this was with mostly canned shit in a pressure cooker.
I have a feeling those people are either made up or exaggerated. How would they eat? Exclusively fast food? Maybe, but thats a horrible disorder to have
Specifically within the context of a relationship. I'm not a chef by any means, but cooking by a recipe isn't a professional craft that takes years to master. If I instead frame a relationship's power dynamics around uncompensated domestic labour, taking pride in being as lazy as I am stupid as I am exploitative as I am misogynistic, it's not only toxic masculinity at its most benign level. It's being a perpetual large son. If you're shit at cooking and you can't improve that by cooking the same thing multiple times and following instructions more closely, is it more fair to get an instantpot or to force your partner to do 1+ hour of labour daily for your benefit? Feel free to hold kitchen staff over my head as if it proves the opposite point, but they get minimum wage and benefits for doing that work along with employment protections. A housewife gets coercive exploitation that will only broaden in scope as her lazy husband has further epiphanies that laundry and cleaning and childrearing are similarly effeminate. Whatever personal justification we could make at the very least domestic labour needs to be fairly divided or it's any other chud relationship reinforcing the same things. I don't care if that's you prepping the food while they cook it or you cleaning after they cook, but some 50/50 contribution is just my basic expectation in relationships.
No arguments with dividing work fairly, I maybe disingenuously read your comment as "men who cant cook are pathetic". I thought you meant it literally. But if you live in America, and your SO wont cook for you, cant you just leave them and start making food for yourself? I cant do that at a restaurant, I am always coerced into finding work SOMEWHERE, mainly at other restaurants. I just think its possible to have a healthy relationship where one person does all the cooking and the other person doesnt do any. But when a boy and a girl lib get together and argue about who's gonna dishes, then they inevitably leads to their seperation or outsourcing their household labors to slaves.
A restaurant job is coercive and exploitative because without that wage you're deprived of your physical needs. Is that not even more of a threat with relationships? An abusive relationship goes so much further than most abusive employment because you're not only facing the possibility of homelessness if you don't please your partner, but every kind of harm and deprivation up to that point in your shelter. I'm keen to avoid those arguments and the underlying exploitation they represent/feed further. Everything is consciously divided along practical lines like skillsets and preferences/phobias. Things get done efficiently enough to not need to outsource the labour and fairly enough that the relationship is collaborative rather than coercive.
Outside of a relationship, you should still be able to cook to a basic level. My ethical disgust for making a partner serve me is only slightly worse than making a driver or waitress do it. Nobody's in a slave position if you can do it yourself for your own benefit. That's just getting all the surplus value from your labour.
Dude, if a couple agrees that one cooks and the other does dishes, it's fine.
I dont understand your last paragraph where you compare the ethics, but I think we agree that work should be done equally. If one partner feeds the other and the other does yardwork, both are an act of unpaid labor, but arent necessarily coercive. I also agree everyone should probably know how to cook, although I dont concede my large points about food production and consumption.
You are right about the threat of abuse in relationships being worse than at work, I think that goes hand in hand with economic insecurity
the cast iron pan in the dishwasher thing made me upset :meow-tableflip:
but anyway, the whole whatever-the-fuck reminds me of this quote i read in an essay from 1970...
“If they (young and unrealised men who desire men, who affect machismo, ultramasculinity, and who constitute the hard core of our military-industrial-police-mafia-combine) would go fuck each other (and I use that word in its most positive and appreciative sense) the world would be vastly improved. They make it with women only to brag about it, but are actually far happier in the barracks than in boudoirs. This is, perhaps, the real meaning of “make love, not war”. We may be destroying ourselves through the repression of male-male bonds.”
wait pans don't go in the dishwasher? those are the hardest fucking things to clean what's even the point??
oh whew okay good you will never catch me with cast metals in my house this is a WELDING and FORGING family
I think we can all agree that cast iron is good and stainless steel is good, and nonstick is liberalism.
And while I'm here: cast iron cookware is trivially available from thrift and antique stores for much less than comparable new cookware that won't poison you with PFOAs.
Non stick is useful in specific situations, I try to have one around
Yeah, fair enough. Though this strikes me as a bit of "you're personally responsible for the industrial practices which lead to your consumption" which is kind of a :LIB: take
That's fair, but also limiting PFOAs out of your own diet is more where I was going with it.
I make a motion to accept copper or bronze crockery, as well as cool ceramic cookware.
You're gay and you do crimes. Pack it in, bud, you've won the game of life.
