I have never understood this joke. Growing up I never heard my Pops say anything like that even jokingly (though he would often say she wouldn't let him buy dumb stuff but that was the extent of it). However it's super common in older media and culture and is still notice able in contemporary times. I even hear from guys around my age who in their late 20s to mid 30s in break room chats. I haven't noticed a national or race trend either, it seems to be from dudes of every background.

Is marriage that soul crushing that you resent your partner?

Is it a "pressure release valve" sorta thing about monogamy? Is it actually something people feel? Do guys feel trapped somehow or are just realizing they live unfulfilling lives and project that on to their partners? If that's the case it's kinda weird, like your wife is supposedly the love your life and I would assume you'd really like them.

I remember hearing at lot at my Men's group at my church when I was an early teen. "Upstanding, moral, virtuous Christian men™️©️®️" just kinda openly saying stuff like and pretty much everyone saying "lmao same" (or the time appropriate equivalent).

I see it a lot in movies too. Tons of films are about guys secretly pining for someone else or just resolved to live their lot with some they feel hinders them.

I remember reading the book " Bowling Alone " which lacked any real material analysis of social conditions but it mentioned that men's groups were guys would go to escape their marriage for a bit. While I understand it's important to have your own friends and social groups, the idea it's describe "escape" seems like it's an unpleasant space to be in. Has patriarchy created marriage into prison were men are both the jailed and jailor like it has for many other things in men's lives?

Do dudes really loathe their partners this much?

  • LeninWalksTheWorld [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    because a lot of these people just married without first making sure they were compatible with their partner in the long term. They made the wrong decision basically. Maybe the church forced them to marry young, they got their GF pregnant and had to marry to save face, or just married the hottest person and didn't care about anything else. ToxMasc means you aren't supposed to give a shit about things like "how you feel about being with this person forever". You don't have to be compatible to get married, you don't even have to love eachother, that's not even what it is about. Marriage is traditionally just a way to show your faith to God by following his reproductive rules (which incidentally most religious Americans are absolute moral failures too)

    Then they probably had kids somewhere along the line to "save" the marriage (worst decision) and now they can't leave without looking like a deadbeat, which honestly would be best for everyone at that point but capitalism shackles everyone is that situation. (The man the least tho). So they just live miserable, loveless lives and grow bitter. It's fucking depressing, the US divorce rate is like 50% and that's just the people who had the resources and will to separate.