One of those things where both should be accessible and normal and neither should be held up over the other as the real best way to live.
I love my parents but living at home with them is a struggle at times simply because of how our personalities and habits clash, and I love my grandparents too but I feel like I'd have a breakdown just thinking too much about a three generational home with them. At least if the panopticon is mostly faceless neighbors thats easier to deal with than your family constantly hanging over your shoulder IMO.
Quite literally the single best thing that has happened with my relationship between me and my parents is me moving out. Moved back in with them when covid started because I lost my job, and all we did was fight all the damn time. After like a year and a half I finally got a job in a different city and got the fuck out. Now, I talk with them on the phone on a semi-regular basis, and I’ll drive back and visit them every couple months or they’ll drive out and visit me. I’ve gotten closer with my parents by leaving them.
Oh yeah, I moved out again before it was truly feasible for me to do so since my horrifically violent grandmother was impossible to live with, even as a young adult. Even now that she's been dead for almost six years, I still refuse to move back in with my parents to save money despite their invitation, because they proved to me that they'd rather look like the good kids to the woman who not only abused their child physically and emotionally when my mother was single and couldn't afford other childcare--as well as my mother herself when growing up, than keep their own actual child safe, whether as a child or adult.
Sorry, your actions proved your words about 'always having a safe home here' to be a goddamn lie multiple times in my life, and I'd be a fool to ever trust those phrases.
One of those things where both should be accessible and normal and neither should be held up over the other as the real best way to live.
I love my parents but living at home with them is a struggle at times simply because of how our personalities and habits clash, and I love my grandparents too but I feel like I'd have a breakdown just thinking too much about a three generational home with them. At least if the panopticon is mostly faceless neighbors thats easier to deal with than your family constantly hanging over your shoulder IMO.
Quite literally the single best thing that has happened with my relationship between me and my parents is me moving out. Moved back in with them when covid started because I lost my job, and all we did was fight all the damn time. After like a year and a half I finally got a job in a different city and got the fuck out. Now, I talk with them on the phone on a semi-regular basis, and I’ll drive back and visit them every couple months or they’ll drive out and visit me. I’ve gotten closer with my parents by leaving them.
Oh yeah, I moved out again before it was truly feasible for me to do so since my horrifically violent grandmother was impossible to live with, even as a young adult. Even now that she's been dead for almost six years, I still refuse to move back in with my parents to save money despite their invitation, because they proved to me that they'd rather look like the good kids to the woman who not only abused their child physically and emotionally when my mother was single and couldn't afford other childcare--as well as my mother herself when growing up, than keep their own actual child safe, whether as a child or adult.
Sorry, your actions proved your words about 'always having a safe home here' to be a goddamn lie multiple times in my life, and I'd be a fool to ever trust those phrases.
:100-com: % this