platonic love is when all the faces, edges, and angles of the polycule are congruent

Platonic love is what I feel for my closest friends. I want to hang out with them, eat together, share time.

Romantic love is wanting them to be the first and last person I talk to every day. Waking up together. Eating off each other's plates. Not needing to say a word when you look in their eyes. Feeling elevated just being around them. It's tougher to put into words because it's a lot of feelings. It's also friendship but it hurts more when it ends than ending a platonic friendship.

I think it's the same thing but you don't wanna bang lol. I had a friend that was originally an unrequited crush but I think that became platonic love. Seeing him still made my day, I felt happier with him around, I payed more attention to him than anyone else, but my heart didn't skip a beat when he smiled anymore, and I didn't want to date.

I originally thought I had just resigned myself since he was taken, but I don't think that's it. It's hard to articulate but I think it has to do think deeply caring about the person's wellbeing and letting your guard down around them, but not wanting to build a life with them. Like, I haven't seen him in years, but I don't deeply miss him. If we met again we'd probably pick up where we left off

I dunno, that feeling when you see someone you like romantically, that elation? As much as I love my friends, they don't make me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach and make me blush like a teenager, they don't make me want to cook romantic meals for them, I don't want to cuddle with my friends under the blankets while watching a movie or anything. I want to do all those things with someone I'm romantically involved with.

Also I give people I like romantically way more "passes" on unimportant stuff than my friends or family. Like they're allowed to get away with small things I'd never let slide with friends. Like if a friend wants to do something silly, I'd tell them to go screw themselves. But if someone l like romantically wants to do silly stuff, I'd entertain it. That's just an example. To a point of course, you need to respect yourself and all that.

Does platonic love imply Socratic love? Is that just "insecurity" (i.e. someone who can't stop asking their partner why they love them)

:theiss-explanation:

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There are three primary systems of love in the brain, romantic attraction, sexual attraction, and attachment. The most common configuration of these three is that attachment comes from shared experiences and romantic attraction triggers sexual attraction.

In many people’s brains, these connections are less strong or only happen in specific circumstances. Ergo, asexual and aromantic people exist. These are the physical underpinnings of these feelings.

Then you have the normative idea of romance that insists that romance, sexuality, and attachment are the same things and that the absence of one or more implies that there’s something wrong with the relationship. There are plenty of people who, in terms of brain chemistry, resemble aroace people, but consider themselves “normal” and feel that those aspects of themselves are aberrations. In terms of neurodivergence, I find that people whose neurodivergence allows them to be less sensitive to social pressure will tend to see those differences as normal and good, so maybe that’s an aspect.

So “what is platonic love?” may be a question that can only be answered accurately in terms of subjective experience by the person using the term. Unless you’re using it in the context of a community who is consciously discussing and agreeing on these topics, it probably doesn’t have an agreed upon meaning.

romantic love feels more intense to me personally. im a bit of a shut in and i can go weeks or months without seeing friends and still love them but if im dating someone i want to share my entire life with them. though tbh now that i think about it i dont know if i can tell the difference between an intense platonic crush and a romantic crush

People here are saying that romance and sex can be disconnected, and I'm sure that rings true for a lot of people, but for me, the sexuality is a core part of romance. Like, it's really, "do I wanna fuck this person?"

there's also an aspect of like, "do I want to be this person's main emotional support and vice versa" Like, i'll always be there for most of my friends, but only my boyfriend can have a breakdown every night in my bedroom without that being an issue.

Friendship feelings also feel different in a subtle way, like, hanging out with a friend feels like solving a puzzle. Hanging out with a crush feels like playing a familiar song on guitar. It's just a different vibe.

I think "romance" is a lot of stuff packaged together, stuff about how you feel, where you put up boundaries, how you touch. And like, even with my boyfriend my feelings toward them fluctuate and sometimes they do feel more like a friend, just how it is if you know people for years.

That was pretty meandering, but I hope it helps.

As an addendum: As frustrating as it is, there aren't really hard and fast rules for the difference between platonic and romantic attraction. People all have different private definitions, and different parts of each set of concepts carry different weights to different people. What makes the concepts easier for NTs is that NTs are very comfortable in this ambiguity (even when it's actively making life harder) and just kind of navigate these concepts by feel instead of by defining and investigating them.

Sometimes it's best to ask "what does your body feel like and how do you want to relate to me physically / socially / sexually"

Platonic : I like to spend time with you. Romantic: I want to spend time with you

Simple as

Not everyone cares for sex, but for many people romance involves sex and intimacy. That’s not to say your lover can’t be your friend, but platonic is specifically about “just being friends.”

I think there’s also a vulnerability aspect to it. Many people let down their guard around friends, but I imagine around their lover there’s a lot less walls up. You might meow and pretend a cat to wake her up, or dance stupidly together in your living room. But when you’re with friends, no matter how close you may be, you might not show that side of you to them ever.

Also I don’t get a boner around my friends (intentionally), no matter how attractive they might be. But it becomes hard to walk just by holding hands with someone I like romantically.

I have platonic love for a lot of my friends and family. I'd do a lot for them and they would for me. I like being around them and doing things for them. But my partner I'm willing to try and see the best in them every day. And I go out of my way to do that daily. With platonic love I don't do that. I still love my friends and family I'm willing to see their bullshit and even call them out on it. I can't look past it nor do I want to.

Romantic love is a useful shorthand but theyre just aesthetics

I think they overlap a ton, except romantic love can be way more intimate. I hesitate to say it's the sexual component that makes it that way, because asexual people can definitely experience romance. I want to share my hobbies and feelings with people I love platonically, and living with them would be nice but non-essential, while I want to share EVERYTHING with the person I love romantically. Maybe romance triggers more parts of the brain?

All I know is I like having friends and I don't like being attracted to people so I only know what platonic love is and it's cool