For example
What is the worst Cinematic universe you can imagine? : RedLetterMedia
The top comment
Universal monster movie universe. They'd call it something stupid like "dark universe".
I guess the redditor didn't know about this...
Dark Universe | Dark Universe Wiki | Fandom
2016[?]
The Dark Universe was a planned series of monster films that were being developed and distributed by Universal Pictures. The Dark Universe was meant to serve as rebooted versions of past monster films that take place in a shared universe. Plans for the shared universe were shelved following the failure of The Mummy.
The products cinematic universe, so you got fucking the apple movie, the windows movie, the nike movie, the flaming hot cheetos movie, the blackberry movie, all in the same shared universe of capitalist shit. If they were bold and had an ounce of courage they'd make it like Food Fight.
Steve Jobs (2015)
Pirates of Silicon Valley (1999)?
Air (2023)
Flamin' Hot (2023)
BlackBerry (2023)Well the BlackBerry movie is supposedly very good, it's a comedy and not an advertisement for the product like those other movies, since the company doesn't even make phones anymore.
BlackBerry to review strategic options for its business | Reuters
Once known for its phones with a tiny QWERTY physical keyboard and the BBM instant messaging service, BlackBerry's core businesses today are cybersecurity and software used by automakers.
So boring.
It's a shame. If they had been an option I would 100% have kept buying smartphones with full keyboards - the Droid 4 was the industry's peak imo.
The Hamilton Universe...
Actually - the libs might seriously love that. Kill me now.
A shitty sitcom cinematic universe where Two and a Half Men, Big Bang Theory, and pretty much every formulaic aged-badly misogyny coded pile of laugh tracks all overlap. :agony-4horsemen:
So - the mLTU - the misogynistic Laugh Track Universe?
Shudder.
Charlie Sheen x Jerry Seinfeld
That's committee-designed to make me suffer. :pain:
I'll have ChatGP write a script for you.
I'll have it write multiple scripts.
You will never escape this.
:avoheart:
@corgiwithalaptop right now. :scared:
https://wp.inews.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/GettyImages-1167946.jpg
The nintendo cinematic universe some people wanted in twitter/:reddit-logo:
It would be the lamest one with all movies made by illumination
The Zelda movie will make a zillion dollars and then they'll start building towards a Smash Bros movie, I guarantee it.
Universal monster movie universe.
Kevin Smith has talked about Universal trying to get him to write/make stoner comedies featuring their classic monsters and "Clerks Universe" characters.
"Jay and Silent Bob meet Frankenstein", "Jay and Silent Bob vs. Dracula", "Jay and Silent Bob Discover the Black Lagoon", type nonsense.
I think that was in the 90's, they've been trying to revive that library forever.
Honestly, I like his stuff now. The weird zoomeer movies he made for his kids are full of love and fun. Like, yoga hovers? Honestly a good time
He's given up being "the voice of a generation" and instead is "I can reliably sell $x of tickets, we do whatever we want, it will sell that much on the low end, and maybe might make more." Basically the same thing as Adam Sandler and Happy Madison movies but at 1/100th the budget and 10x the heart.
Yeah, that is better than any random movie you'd pick though so that is pretty good I figure.
He couldn't be the voice of a generation anymore. It has been at least a generation since he has had an experience that any one else could empathize with. Since the giant jorts at least.
There was a period where he was being compared to Tarantino, Soderbergh, Linklater and Rodriguez as the big voices of 90’s cinema.
Oh cool I found the one other person who liked Yoga Hosers (2016), hifive
Honestly I think that could work.
Have you ever seen the Clerks cartoon? It's truly bizarre. Apparently the studio commisioned it with no idea what clerks was, then stuck it in the kids saturday morning line up. After a few episodes the writers realized that their very not for kids show was deinitely getting canned so they went full dada. Idk if it holds up, there are a lot of 90s culture references, but it's a weird moment in cartoon history.
Still remember they were gonna do a Valiant comics universe and they started with Vin Diesel as Bloodshot
It did not go anywhere
Wizarding World by far is the worst cinematic universe. The wizard boy movies are kind of mid, the creator is a hack and a TERF. The prequels are fucking horrible and somehow the writer decided "the bad guys motivation to take over the world is because they saw a vision of the future where the nazis made concentration camps and nuclear weapons." She didn't have to make all the wizards complicit with Nazis, in fact in her earlier books, it was implied that wizards were doing their own WW2 on the sides of good and evil, but nope, she had to bang out those shitty movies and refused to take notes or edits from anyone else.
Including TV-universes - it's the Dick Wolf universe because aside from The Wire, it's a world where All Cops Are Better.
I'll maintain that the first movie had a few decent bits. If they had cut all of the Grindelwald stuff and made the movie about a quirky british man doing cryptid conservation it would have been great - but part of JKR's problem (besides her being a Tory) is that she doesn't seem to realize that the "serious" parts of her writing drag down the bits that people actually like.
It’s true, we want whimsy and cryptid conservations, not super Wizard bloodline shit.
I can't believe they fucked up The Mummy so bad. What was the point of this? They had the universally beloved smash hit with Brendan Frasier and Rachel Weisz and said "no let's not do the thing that everybody liked, let's do a different, stupid thing"
Who Framed Roger Rabbit expanded universe, but all-animated and 100% kid-friendly.
Eddie Valiant pokes his head in from time to time, but he's voiced by James Corden doing an American accent.
100% kid-friendly
"Hey, kids! I'm Janice Rabbit. Your older relatives might know my sister Jessica. She was bad because she was drawn that way. But I'm good because I'm designed that way. I'm here to introduce you to a world of merch! Toys, video games, board games, educational apps, Happy Meals, and other products and services! Let's begin!..."
Isn't that literally what the 90's disney cartoon Bonkers was?
Oh crap, you're right. And I don't remember Bonkers even being that bad.
the only reason i've even heard of Dark Universe is Universal's single tweet that Hesse retweets from time to time
I'm sure we'll be seeing a board game multiverse sometime soon. It's only a matter of time.
Clue is supposed to be pretty good. And now I'm imagining a Monopoly movie where four friends get into capitalism together and destroy their friendships until one of them is the biggest, richest asshole of them all.
They’ve been trying for forty years, but Monopoly (and some total bombs) have held everything up.
