As a man trying to get laid with women, I’m constantly having to play games and lean into patriarchal convention because that is really the only way to be half way successful.

The song and dance is mind numbingly stupid but you have to do it if you want to get your pp touched. Nuke cishet dating from orbit, I need a director’s cut, a rerelease. I’m convinced no one actually likes this.

  • MF_COOM [he/him]
    ·
    5 months ago

    I would strongly disagree that any games or endorsement of patriarchy are necessary for success in cishet dating, I would fucking never. In fact, if I get any hint that a woman wants or cares about that shit that's great - tells me to stop wasting my time with them.

    • MarxMadness@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      5 months ago

      That stuff isn't necessary, but a low tolerance for it significantly restricts your dating pool. It's like saying you aren't going to jump through a lot of hoops to get a job -- there are employers out there who don't require that, especially if you're highly desirable, but it does make things harder.

      An example is the patriarchal expectation for men to be the first one to express interest, and to generally take the initiative to move the ball forward early in the relationship. You can opt out of that, but for most guys that would mean dating almost no one. This isn't even a conscious "game" women play, it's a social convention, so "I wouldn't want to date someone who does that anyway" would be throwing out the baby with the bathwater.