https://hexbear.net/post/29216

  • TankieTanuki [he/him]
    hexagon
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    4 years ago

    A lot of furry is problematic

    What do you mean?

    and there is a big lack of accountability/responsibility in furry spaces

    Is that a good reason to create a better space here?

    • xxtrash [he/him]
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      4 years ago

      Firstly, I am coming from the perspective of someone who was active in the fandom for several years, got sexually/psychologically abused, and had an artist use their clout to silence me. I have met several other victims who have suffered similarly. This kind of thing has been a problem in the community for decades, especially because the content appeals to young and curious lgbt people.

      I know my experience paints my opinion of the fandom. In my opinion it's a fandom that glorifies parasocialism and emotional disassociation. Diverting emotional responsibility through avatars is the best way I can describe it.

      If ppl want to have a furry community here IDGAF because I won't participate, but I couldn't help but be annoyed when I saw "disliking the furry fandom" equated to "hating queer people".

      • stevaloo [they/them, she/her]
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        4 years ago

        Sorry it came off that way. My mind just cynically jumped to 'yiff in hell' circlejerkers when I saw the downbears.

      • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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        4 years ago

        "in my opinion [being trans] glorifies parasocialism and emotional disassociation. diverting emotional responsibility through [gender reassignment] is the best way I can describe it."

        like, i empathize that youve had bad personal experiences, been there, but what youre talking about isnt some intrinsic part of folks being furry, and the argument is literally straight out of the anti-lgbt play book.

        • xxtrash [he/him]
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          4 years ago

          Making a furry avatar that can be slipped on/off and changed at any at any time is in no way similar to living in a trans body and I'm really grossed out by this.

          • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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            4 years ago

            then stop using the same argument against furries that gets used against trans people.

            its just that easy

            • QuillQuote [they/them]
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              4 years ago

              being furry is an aesthetic, for many of us it could represent an important or large part of our lives, but it is not the same. This is a bad take

              • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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                4 years ago

                i never said it was "the same."

                i pointed out the absolutely inane usage of chud talking points that equate any form of lgbtq as being a mental illness that is intrinsically abusive and bad for everyone involved.

                which is absolutely what the above argument is.

                • QuillQuote [they/them]
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                  4 years ago

                  They didn't say that being a furry makes you abusive, just that the way the community exists creates a potential for abuse.

                  Idunno. Either way, since you're not equating the two experiences

                  • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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                    4 years ago

                    "the potential for abuse is something to watch out for, so lets make sure the community is the best it can be" isnt what the comment was though.

                    the comment was "it ... glorifies parasocialism and emotional disassociation" or, in other words, that the entire community is a mental illness.

                    which is exactly what chuds say about all lgbtq communities.

                    thats not okay.

                    • BeamBrain [he/him]
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                      4 years ago

                      the comment was “it … glorifies parasocialism and emotional disassociation” or, in other words, that the entire community is a mental illness.

                      Yeah, I don't think xxtrash meant it this way, but usually when I see people say this stuff about furries, the implication (whether or not stated outright) is "and this is why it's okay to harass them/dox them/encourage them to kill themselves."

                      • xxtrash [he/him]
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                        4 years ago

                        Yeah sorry I should have clarified it better. It's hard for me to verbalize what the issue is. It's like, there are big artists who market themselves as a character, but also as themselves? So you get people who fawn over a certain character, and then the artists use that "in" as a way to approach people for abuse. When it's a fandom made up of people having curated identities the lines between boundaries become blurred. As expression I have no issue with it, but as a fandom with conventions, merchandise, and where people literally market themselves as a form of product- things get fucked up.

                        I'm really frustrated by this conversation.

                        • Peter_jordanson [doe/deer,any]
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                          4 years ago

                          It needs to be said that The commodification of the social media individual in this late stage capitalism is pretty much the same thing; fandoms just got there first. But you will find the same parasocial toxicity among streamers , youtubers, instagram celebrities, hell i'm not even going to attempt to open the weird ass can of worms that the bodybuilding community tends to be...

                        • BeamBrain [he/him]
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                          4 years ago

                          When you put it that way, it sounds perfectly reasonable.

                        • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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                          4 years ago

                          dunno if itll make you feel less frustrated, but i agree with everything in this comment :100-com:

              • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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                4 years ago

                yeah, i agree, telling other people that their harmless sexual proclivities are a mental illness is pretty gross.

                • xxtrash [he/him]
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                  4 years ago

                  Uh huh.

                  Please someone add a block function to this Lemmy.

        • Amorphous [any]
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          4 years ago

          what the fuck is wrong with you

          get some perspective

          • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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            4 years ago

            i have plenty of perspective. do you?

            telling others that they are mentally ill like that is the chuddery basics of being anti-lgbtq

            • Amorphous [any]
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              4 years ago

              criticizing people for choosing to be part of a community, regardless of how reasonable or unreasonable that criticism is, is not the same thing as criticizing someone for being LGBT+

              genuinely, what the fuck is wrong with you?

              • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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                4 years ago

                telling people that their sexual proclivities are a mental illness, and using that as an excuse to excoriate them, regardless of whether theyre a furry or gay or a bdsm afficionado, or transbian, etc is wrong.

                its the same puritanical argument about how those things are bad for the people involved.

                i am not saying being trans and being furry are the same.

                i am pointing out how disgusting the argument that furries are all mentally ill is.

                • Amorphous [any]
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                  4 years ago

                  i am pointing out how disgusting the argument that furries are all mentally ill is.

                  no one made that argument, dumbass

                  • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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                    4 years ago

                    "it ... glorifies parasocialism and emotional disassociation. diverting emotional responsibility through avatars is the best way i can describe it."

                    xxtrash like a half dozen comments up this chain literally stating that the furry community is one big mental illness.

                    • Amorphous [any]
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                      4 years ago

                      That is not what that means. Saying that a particular community glorifies certain behaviors and ways of thinking is not the same thing as saying that LGBT+ people all have mental illness, and you are a deeply disgusting person for trying to equate them. Fuck you, you piece of shit.

    • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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      4 years ago

      "a lot of [big gay] is problematic and there is a big lack of accountability/responsibility in [big gay] spaces and it’s not wrong for people to be wary of it."

      moral panic about the big gay intensifies

      yeah, obviously if other spaces are problematic and lack accountability, the correct response is to do better :banana-duck:

      • shitshow [any]
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        4 years ago

        Is Big Gay ^TM like Big Tobacco or Big Pharma? Industrialized homosexuality?

        • crispyhexagon [none/use name]
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          4 years ago

          yes.

          thats why the big gay is problematic. capitalism ruining everything. even being gay with your dad.

    • QuillQuote [they/them]
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      4 years ago

      Is that a good reason to create a better space here?

      Yes it's a fantastic reason, actually