I understand that - I'm not going to condemn not using a pronoun as a transphobic action overall- I would call it garbage allyship if you can and just don't. If you struggle with gender identity I don't count that as a choice to not use a pronoun and respect that. Trans people actually count for a sizeable amount of people who don't want to display their pronouns and I stand with them on that. Basically- if you are cis or comfortable using public pronouns- use them- if you aren't you should not have to.
We need a herd immunity proportion of users to have pronoun tags so everyone is safe, is I think the idea. If most people (who don't have reservations about setting their pronoun tag) did it, that'd be all that'd needed
it only became a big thing in the first place because the initial reaction to the ask was pushback from those who's complaint was that they don't care about setting their pronoun.
so, they have no reason not to other than "idonwanna I shouldn't have to"
then that pissed some of us off and we took to main to solve the issue, but then things started off with an angry tone again, because we posters were mad.
So we, or at least I (I hope), have learned not to post angry anymore, because I totally torpedoed the message I was trying to send, and the behavior I was trying to point out as wrong. Instead it came off as "if you don't go do this fuck you" but what I'd meant was "if you're one of these people actively pushing back against this after saying that you don't care about it at all, and have no skin in the game, that's super shitty. You're refusing to show your comrades solidarity for no real reason"
all nuance was lost and things became confused quickly
why would trans people need to set pronouns anyway? This is an online community, none of our faces are out there. Aren't we all at risk of being misgendered. Like you "Quillquote". That's not a boy name or a girl name. Misgendering you isn't a transphobic action because you're not trans (unless you are, I'm just guessing).
I don't want to be difficult but I think that it legitimately doesn't make sense.
well a lot of them do want that, so I don't think it matters particularly why. At the same time, other people want the opposite, and it also doesn't particularly matter why, and that's fine. I want everyone comfy and safe.
The point is some people want pronouns, and if you have no issues with setting yours doing so would be appreciated by those comrades because it will keep them safer and less targetable.
sorry if it doesn't make sense, It's been a long day haha
yeah I'll keep my flair because I don't want antagonism but I think I'm over it. Nobody's gender is evident here, not just our trans users. Any of us could be misgendered, not just our trans users. Possibly this makes no sense. But I'm also not very smart.
You are misunderstanding. A cis person who is uncomfortable with their gender identity also does not have to use a pronoun. I only believe you should be encouraged- not forced to use a pronoun if you are secure in your gender identity and want it. Not using pronouns does not make you trans or cis- pronouns are a gender signifier not in themselves a gender identity. NB people use she/they or he/they and that doesn't make them cis for example.
I understand that - I'm not going to condemn not using a pronoun as a transphobic action overall- I would call it garbage allyship if you can and just don't. If you struggle with gender identity I don't count that as a choice to not use a pronoun and respect that. Trans people actually count for a sizeable amount of people who don't want to display their pronouns and I stand with them on that. Basically- if you are cis or comfortable using public pronouns- use them- if you aren't you should not have to.
So the only people that should be left without a pronoun are trans users? Doesn't that then make that into a trans thing?
We need a herd immunity proportion of users to have pronoun tags so everyone is safe, is I think the idea. If most people (who don't have reservations about setting their pronoun tag) did it, that'd be all that'd needed
it only became a big thing in the first place because the initial reaction to the ask was pushback from those who's complaint was that they don't care about setting their pronoun.
so, they have no reason not to other than "idonwanna I shouldn't have to"
then that pissed some of us off and we took to main to solve the issue, but then things started off with an angry tone again, because we posters were mad.
So we, or at least I (I hope), have learned not to post angry anymore, because I totally torpedoed the message I was trying to send, and the behavior I was trying to point out as wrong. Instead it came off as "if you don't go do this fuck you" but what I'd meant was "if you're one of these people actively pushing back against this after saying that you don't care about it at all, and have no skin in the game, that's super shitty. You're refusing to show your comrades solidarity for no real reason"
all nuance was lost and things became confused quickly
Thanks for the explanation. Makes more sense.
People honestly just need to chill. Rule number 1 is don't be an asshole. So that means:
If people are asking you to set a pronoun if you're comfortable, then be cool and do it
Don't be flippant in calling people transphobes. Because that's going to lose all credibility quickly.
why would trans people need to set pronouns anyway? This is an online community, none of our faces are out there. Aren't we all at risk of being misgendered. Like you "Quillquote". That's not a boy name or a girl name. Misgendering you isn't a transphobic action because you're not trans (unless you are, I'm just guessing).
I don't want to be difficult but I think that it legitimately doesn't make sense.
well a lot of them do want that, so I don't think it matters particularly why. At the same time, other people want the opposite, and it also doesn't particularly matter why, and that's fine. I want everyone comfy and safe.
The point is some people want pronouns, and if you have no issues with setting yours doing so would be appreciated by those comrades because it will keep them safer and less targetable.
sorry if it doesn't make sense, It's been a long day haha
yeah I'll keep my flair because I don't want antagonism but I think I'm over it. Nobody's gender is evident here, not just our trans users. Any of us could be misgendered, not just our trans users. Possibly this makes no sense. But I'm also not very smart.
You do not have to have a flair if you legitimately do not want to, that's important.
You get to decide this for yourself same as anyone
You are misunderstanding. A cis person who is uncomfortable with their gender identity also does not have to use a pronoun. I only believe you should be encouraged- not forced to use a pronoun if you are secure in your gender identity and want it. Not using pronouns does not make you trans or cis- pronouns are a gender signifier not in themselves a gender identity. NB people use she/they or he/they and that doesn't make them cis for example.