Not long after graduating high school I was at a party when I found myself part of a conversation where a group of people were glamorizing their choice of marketing school, so in my extreme state of inebriation, I did my best Bill Hicks and shouted By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising, kill yourself. As they all scoffed and glared while walking away, I continued with enjoy being a whore at the capitalist gang bang. One of the chics strutted back to argue that she's not a whore, so I continued tearing her down and she turned red.

This is why I don't have any friends.