• BigDaddy [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Am I in the wrong here?

    My girlfriend and I live together. I'm in grad school and barely make any money with a GA position. Also, I'm terrible with money and have nothing in savings. My girlfriend has about 4k in savings and gets paid about the same as me for her work.

    I landscape on the side for my landlord--$20 per hour. They offered to pay me in cash but I just have them take it off rent. Not so much now, but in the summer months I work roughly 10-15 hours in a month, taking $200-$300 off my portion of rent. I consider this kind-of a part-time job. I thought this was fair since it's my labor and not easy work--$20 per hour is a bargain (I built a patio, redid two large overgrown beds, etc.)

    My girlfriend and multiple friends of hers think we should split the pay evenly since it's taken off of rent. She said in the context of a relationship, it's fair this way. In a perfect world, sure, I get that it's a partnership; however, she's ignoring the context of me being perpetually broke, having to work unpaid labor through my internship/practicum, and her being better off financially.

    Should I split this pay? That would mean I'd only get paid $10 per hour for my labor. Maybe I'm thinking to individually and I am an asshole here but fuck I barely get by as is, I kind-of relied upon this side-gig to pay my portion of things.

    • comi [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Take the cash (if it’s the same), split the rent in half. I think it’s lizard brain thinking in play: the bill is not split equally -> not fair

      • mxnoodles [she/her]
        ·
        4 years ago

        It might be cuz I’m off my addy that it’s taking me a bit to figure out the conflict here. If it’s all going to rent anyways and if someone’s in a Partnership then that’s still less $ taken out of the collective pool of your income.

        • comi [he/him]
          ·
          4 years ago

          But labor is invisible, yet check is split ‘unfairly’.

    • Gay_Wrath [fae/faer]
      ·
      edit-2
      4 years ago

      i might be misreading but

      if it were any other freelance job wouldn't it just be treated like your money? Why should she get part of if if she makes as much at her regular job and you're not otherwise supporting her?

      putting it toward shared rents seems more than fair, i'd do the same

      • BigDaddy [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        Yeah, girlfriend wouldn't expect any $ from the other side jobs I did. It just seems that because I work for my landlord, and because I chose to have the landlord take my earnings out of our rent for convenience, it sounds unfair because she's "paying more for rent." Someone else said it's just our lizard brain logic lol.

      • BigDaddy [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        No I just meant if I split this earnings w/ girlfriend I would only make $10 per hour, GF would take the other $10.

        Rent is $985. 10 hours landscaping at $20 per hour = $200 The check I write for rent, therefore, is $785 Girlfriend pays $492.5 I pay $292.5 because I've been counting that $200 off rent as my income. In this scenario, she thinks we should each pay $392.5

        • mxnoodles [she/her]
          ·
          4 years ago

          Lol if it makes 0 difference to just take the $200 in cash and immediately put it back in rent then you might as well. It’s still a weird issue for her friends to raise in the context of a Fair Equitable Partnership where paying rent is going towards your common good anyway.