What the fuck?
This is actually, unironically hilarious. You can't change my mind.
But the capo di tutti capi, the one-anecdote-to-rule-them-all, goes to Sims, who says that a small wooden box with a red button inside can often be found on the president's desk in the Oval Office.
"If Trump noticed someone glancing at the box... he would pick it up and move it further away from himself. 'Don't worry about that,' he'd say. 'No one wants me to push that button.'"
"Guests would laugh nervously and the conversation would continue, until several minutes later Trump would suddenly move it closer to him without actually saying anything about it. Then, later in the conversation, out of nowhere, he'd suddenly press the button. Not sure what to do, guests would look at one another with raised eyebrows. Moments later, a steward would enter the room carrying a glass filled with Diet Coke on a silver platter, and Trump would burst out laughing."
Libs are so stupid they think the President can push a button on his desk that ends all of humanity instantly.
Good on Trump for once again exposing libs for being dumb
Trump just when from a D- minus to an A+ president for me, what the fuck.
-7DeadlyFetishes
Big LBJ driving his amphibious vehicle straight into a lake pretending the brakes are broken while carrying passengers energy.
Early diagnosis and the best medical treatments available on the planet. Same reason these ghouls all live to be 100.
Part of the problem could also be that Covid lives in your blood but maybe Trump successfully replaced his bloodstream with a sodastream
I think the reason he lived is that the Diet Coke is sort of sending him through a form of living mummification tbh
Diet Coke tastes good, and when I switched to normal Coke I started gaining weight
as a wise man put it, "I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke"
It tastes the same as regular Coke as well as all the Coke knockoffs and similar products (except Dr Pepper which tastes even more disgusting but at least it's different). The whole debate reminds me of people arguing about which brand of bottled water tastes best. Mfer it all tastes like water.
There's this scene from Monsters vs. Aliens that has the president in this military base war room, and on the wall are these two very large buttons, the president walks up to one and the staff freak the fuck out because he was about to launch the nukes; however the president wanted coffee instead which the button for is virtually indistinguishable from the button that launches all the nukes.
I am genuinely curious as to if at any point during this administration Trump almost gave the fucking greenlight to launch the nukes when instead he wanted a Diet Coke, the world may never know. :agony-yehaw:
-7DeadlyFetishes
On the contrary, he wanted to launch the nukes but ordered a Diet Coke instead and forgot about launching the nukes
Coke should make an ad where Trump is going off on his advisors wanting to nuke France because Macron looked at him funny at the last UN meeting and before he's about to hit the button Kylie Jenner walks in and hands the president a Diet Coke and things become good again.
-7DeadlyFetishes
Not to spoil the fun but it definitely isn't as simple as some people think. Like, you press the buttons and the nukes go... Where? Everywhere?
I mean when you have an arsenal of 8,000 nukes you probably have enough to go "everywhere" or at the very least all the important places.
-7DeadlyFetishes
Maybe being preserved in aspartame makes you immune to covid?
Biden is actually on a slow drip of orange julius because it reminds him of his lifeguard days and makes him lucid enough to sign EOs
Being a leftist is about being mad when Diet Coke and the more diet the Coke the more mad you get
Nonono, libs like me get mad at Diet Coke. Real leftists get mad at Vanilla Coke.
vanilla coke is a crime against vanilla, just the fakest most synthetic vanilla taste
