The title. If you had full Hollywood sex pest money and power what movies would you have made?
I've had a concept for a movie just called Action. It would open on a street corner, a car would come Tokyo drifting around the corner with another car chasing it. The entire movie is only chases, fights, explosions and stunts. There are two bad guys and two good guys and they refer to each other literally as the bad guys and the good guys. The bad guys got away with the briefcase that contains the codes, it is never specified what the codes are for. All dialogue is immediate exposition "they're getting away!" or snappy one liners. It would be all practical effects and cost more to make than most wars
A scathing satire of superhero movies that ends up killing the genre.
Don Quixote was such a biting satire of chivalric romances that no more of them were published in Spain for centuries. Blazing Saddles was such a biting satire of whitewashed "wholesome" TV Westerns that they too lost all their popularity. Someone needs to do this to the capeshit genre.
How to do that is the hard part. I can't think of any angle to take that hasn't been tried and failed before. Fuck Watchmen (the comic) should have been that for the superhero genre before movies were really even a part of it and look what that did to the comic industry.
I think something similar to Don Quixote could work.
A lazy landlord lives alone with his 200+ Funko Pops. He spends all day watching Marvel movies and harassing his tenants. One day, he slips on ice and hits his head really hard. When he wakes up, he is convinced that everything in the movies is real and decides to become a real-life superhero. Hilarity ensues.There have been a couple of movies to that effect I believe. Kick Ass and Super?
That's a funny idea, partly because the dialogue in Marvel movies is supposed to be funny in that the characters are treating big, epic events as though they're mundane. So we'd come full-circle to people doing mundane things talking about them as though they're mundane.
"Hey need help carrying that box?" Camera pans and zooms in to character's face. There is a single beat of silence. Music starts silent, but begins to swell "I can do this all day." "Oh, okay then."
The Austin Powers franchise is apparently one big reason the Daniel Craig Bond movies are (comparatively) grounded.
The first Austin Powers is to Bond movies what Walk Hard is to music biopics.
Imagine if Watchmen were adapted by a director who actually understood the material. I just can't think of a worse person to pick up that movie than fucking Zack Snyder, but here we are. It's actually impressive how, despite the movie being adapted "correctly" page-by-page (aside from the ending), it fucked up the execution that badly.
At least The Boys has become somewhat mainstream. Maybe we will eventually get that one silver bullet movie one day.
I want to make Atlas Shrugged, but with two caveats:
(1) I want to make it an actually decent-looking movie. And for me, the obvious way to do that is to make it a period piece taking place in a stylized version of 1950s America -- something like The Hudsucker Proxy.
(2) I want to make it a satire like Starship Troopers, where you're ostensibly supposed to root for the heroes, but it's actually pointing out how awful and absurd the whole philosophy behind the original story is.
Just get money from the Koch brothers or something, funding this one should be a slam dunk.
A Vietnam War film from the side of the North Vietnamese. That shits not getting made in the US.
With Vietnam's economy developing as fast as it is, I bet we'll see a really good movie like that relatively soon. Assuming one doesn't already exist.
I had a similar idea, except about a Vietnamese family whose village gets bombed by Americans.
Basically Come And See: Vietnam Edition.
Along those lines I really would like to remake First Blood and bring it closer to the novel and change the name and main character name and make him not Stallone. It would get awards and no one would know it was a remake of the first Rambo.
I have also always wanted this, especially this but also more along those lines.
An American Republican becomes radicalized, but instead of falling down the Q rabbit hole he accidentally reads about the Irish and Spanish Republicans. He then adopts their ideology, while still believing he’s following Q, as well as the Q aesthetic. He goes around having awkward interactions with actual Q supporters at rallies, and maybe he even storms the capitol.
Make it a comedy and it sounds decent. Call it The Q Shaman in Belfast.
Another I sorta have in the barrel would be a Zorro reboot. Zorro would be the anti Batman that he kinda is. Zorro is the Batman of the people by the people. Zorro isn't a billionaire, he's a worker dedicated to class struggle and decolonization. This kinda plays into the anti-superhero movie post in this thread as well. I don't really even need to go far from the source. Zorro is based.
Also if I have any movie power Disney is gone and I can use this song
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7CP3_5HPWA0
You've given me a pleasant flashback to staying up late with my cousins at our grandpa and grandma's house and watching Zorro on Nick at Nite. :comfy:
Awwww! Zorro is for the people. Though strictly against chandeliers.
According to wikipedia he's the son of the largest landowner in California?
Currently writing a horror called Dead Labor about a machine that eats the operators life force and makes his boss stronger/younger/richer. He eats his boss in the end. Gonna be dope.
I'm picturing this in my head as a Tales from the Crypt/Creepshow kinda thing.
Definitely influenced by alot of horror anthology stuff and Jacob's Ladder or The Machinist.
Well it will require a budget I'll likely never see, but I'll happily post it for my comrades later down the line.
I've always wanted a violent videogame where you go back in time and kill Columbus, and other colonists, to protect the Native Americans. A movie would also be cool. Basically just Inglorious Bastards, but replace Nazis with conquistadors and colonists.
assassins creed 3 but instead of a simulation its timetravel, and instead of killing random redcoats (also your dad) and helping found a slave state, you murder the aristocracy and destroy the slave state
someone tell ubisoft theyve got a great new spinoff ip, and they can reuse so many assets for it
Plus Assassin's Creed 3 is when the series got bad. They can redeem it.
hey now, blackflag came out after 3 and was good.
youre not wrong though
Black Flag does actually seem cool cause pirates are cool but 3 was bad enough I wasn't gonna bother. I was pretty done with games for a while at that point. I pretty much just got a switch and have been cool with a few indie games and my 2008 PS3 since
i feel you, ive also had a few years here and there were gaming just wasnt a thing i did. indie games are :10000-com: the way to go anyways.
also piracy. pirate the pirate game so you can be a pirate while you are a pirate. :galaxy-brain:
In my head it's a Boston Dynamics dog robot with chainsaws. Or Data, from Star Trek, but with, like, samurai swords.
While you were engaged in recreation, I have optimized my sub routines for the use of bladed weapons
This was what I thought Greedfall would be but it was lame and boring and kind of a :LIB: take on it, like "colonialism doesn't have to be bad if we all work together!" and painting the Really Bad Things as the result of a few bad people
Been a minute since I played it but IIRC the "kick the whites off the New World" option had you side with someone who was like a barely redeemable warhawk too
I haven't played it but someone wrote an essay about it on reddit and supposedly the game has the weirdest ideology.
Absurdist dark comedy Warhammer 40k movie that take a piss out of how stupidly edgy the series is. So kinda like Verhoeven's Starship Troopers.
Absurdist dark comedy Warhammer 40k movie that take a piss out of how stupidly edgy the series is.
I remember watching an (interview? documentary?) with Verhoeven about Starship Troopers and apparently there were people who thought Starship Troopers was pro-military. He said it really says a lot about you whether you come out of that movie thinking it was anti-fascism or if you thought it was pro-military.
A sequel to Like Mike where a kid finds Michael Jordan's golf shoes and becomes a mediocre golfer with a gambling addiction
I would want to make [The Last Ringbearer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Ringbearer#:~:text=The%20Last%20Ringbearer%20(Russian%3A%20%D0%9F%D0%BE%D1%81%D0%BB%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B9,The%20Lord%20of%20the%20Rings.) - the story of the Lord of the Rings but written with Mordor being a peaceful constitutional monarchy.
I've gotta read that sometime. I'm a massive Tolkien geek and wanna see how plausible that idea is if anything. In universe the Red Book of Westmarch was informed on ancient events by elves who could easily be spreading propaganda.
Obviously not as pure as your brilliant vision, but Hardcore Henry has I think the highest ratio of action to exposition of any movie I've seen. It's basically like watching a playthrough of an FPS with a few short in-charavter cutscenes (like the half life kind where you can walk around and stuff and it doesn't break perspective)
That was a really fun movie and the first person gimmick was pretty cool. I'd hate to see that style take off but for one movie it was neat.
Mine could only be made by Micheal Bay and he'd probably have the time of his life. He doesn't have to deal with things like story or acting at all, just a series of amazing set pieces. The first John Wick almost had it with using the most bare bones simple and obvious and let's face it cheap motives for the rest of the movie which is just cool violence. I want that but for Lethal Weapon and not even dealing with a dead dog or any excuse. An functioning city will either need to be bought or built to absolutely destroy over the course of the movie. The movie itself will melt a glacier.
Kinda disappointed that the John Wick sequels (especially 3) were so bogged down with story and worldbuilding that it kinda got in the way of the first film's purity. They could've cut most of the story and a few of the fights and had a much stronger movie IMO
For real! Part of what I loved about the first was the shameless non plot. I thought they played it so over the top and psychologically cheap on purpose.
The Crank movies are great like that too. The whole plot is he can never let is adrenaline drop.
Oh yeah those are fun. First one has a lot of pretty slow moments tho
Chris-chan biopic. There's just so much material to work with there, her life's been documented way too hard and always manages to reflect what's going on in the world really well.
It'd probably be impossible to make though, I can't think of any director who would do her story justice.
Her privacy has been violated and she's been exploited enough. I would like something with a sympathetic angle, but that would create an outrage war over it and I really just want Chris Chan to be able to just chill. Would need someone really good and full consent from Chris Chan.
That's another part of it, there's no way Chris Chan would ever consent to what the director would need to do. I also don't think any movie studios would ever finance it. I definitely think there's been roles in movies where she's been a bit of an inspiration already, but I don't think a movie just based on her without being about her would ever work either.
Personal Involvement Disclaimer (in that I was friends with the guy who made em) but DStecks had a Sonichu review series that started out with the same snark and condescension as any other reviewer (and done hilariously in my opinion at the time), but over the course of the series (it took several years to get through) his opinion on CWC and his own involvement in her life and the drama around her matured and the ending (that could not have possibly been planned in advance) had an absolutely incredible payoff. I dunno if I'd recommend watching it since it's probably over a dozen hours in total, but that last episode just made me soyface uncontrollably
There's a lot of youtubers that were involved with Chris Chan, especially early ones. Like a lot of early Machinima and Newgrounds people were involved in it since they had talent that they were able to put to use bullying Chris in different ways and a lot of them were pretty young and probably had a harder time seeing the problems with what they were doing (I know for a fact that the prank caller who played Casey's dad was between 14 and 16 at the time).
90% of people who bullies her in 2007 are definitely Nazis now
The reason Chris Chans so interesting is that they evolve with the internet. The first bullying is a bit more innocent because a lot of it is people who had never seen someone get doxxed before and not realize how horrifying it could be. But then like as people see what horrifying shit people do online, the people trolling her either get more extreme with it or immediately recognize it as something shitty to do. Like you go from someone pretending to be like Chris Chan for laughs to someone straight up fleecing him for 10,000 dollars.
Then you got characters like null, these objectively pathetic people who start a forum basically to convince people that a bunch of leftwing content creators are just like Chris Chan so they can bully them, but then also have this weird love for Chris Chan where they've set up contingency plans to financially support her when disaster happens. Like its just such an interesting, bizarre relationship.
Jurassic Park but it’s breeding chickens with teeth turned up to eleven
