Mine is that we don't have a worldwide shadow government, that there is no master plan that we are being unwittingly steered towards, that what we see is what we get. :my-hero:

Our ruling class rules us with cruelty and stupidity, just like they appear to do. They are rich because they are rich. They are powerful because of the precedence of power. Any exceptions to their origin stories were just a product of churn to find the cruelest most sadistic peasants to uplift to join the ruling class. :bootlicker:

It's the one theory I have that fits known facts and subjective evidence: we are ruled by emotionally stunted and socially malevolent self-destructive idiots that have some semblance of class consciousness but only enough to prevent upsets at their wine parties or their child-violating island vacations. :epstein:

  • pooh [she/her, any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I think Obama’s mom (and possibly dad) was connected to CIA and possibly a full-blown agent herself. There’s just too many odd connections there if you start digging into her history in Indonesia especially.

  • farter [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    when i was a kid i would try to mindspeak with animals, like if a bird was cawing i would go chill bird chill

    sometimes it worked :big-cool:

    • sappho [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      How crazy does it make me if I think some limited telepathy could actually be a real thing? When I was a kid I practiced relentlessly with my best friend and we had some spooky results.

      • UlyssesT [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        2 years ago

        Not as crazy as a lot of crazier ideas out there, even if it hasn't yet been proven in a laboratory environment.

        Hypnosis used to be seen as stage magic and nothing more, after all.

        • eduardog3000 [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Used to be? It still is. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      Birds get down to some music. I'll believe you could pull off some meaningful communication.

  • blairbnb [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Conspiracy stuff like QAnon, Antivax, Flat Earth etc is tolerated and maybe actively encouraged by major platforms because it provides a useful idiot to point at and say anyone going against the mainstream narrative is the same thing.

    E.g. if in a conversation about Russia/Ukraine or Xinjiang i bring up stuff I've heard on here or other commie spaces that goes against the western line, and say I know it from 'online research'. Mentally people will quickly put me in the same category as these crazy anti vaxxers they hear about or whatever and already be sceptical of what I'm trying to say.

    • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      this is true. they broadcast the not trusting the media as a right-wing tendency so no one ever wakes up, or if they get close they become fascist.

  • Wheaties [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Conservatives have accidentally (or purposefully, i don't know) inoculated themselves from recognizing when the state and economy are at their most vulnerable.

    Empty shelves and supply shortages? The failure of Gommunist Economics

    Ineffective pandemic response and an overwhelmed healthcare system? Govment Death Panels!

    They've primed themselves to see an 'authoritarian monster' in place of a failing empire.

  • BolsheWitch [she/her, they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    house spirits exist and you need to leave little tiny bottles of high proof alcohol on your mantle place to keep them happy.

    by extension, poltergeists are just house spirits going through alcohol withdrawals and/or are pissed off because you need to treat your house better.

    I know this is true because over time eventually the booze disappears from the bottles

    ib4 "tHaTs EvApOrAtiOn aKtUaLLy":

    Shut the fuck up. I fucking know that, have some fucking fun with ideas you miserable overly-intellectual dork.

    • farter [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      trolls are little guys with wrinkly faces and long beards that live under your bed they have a whole little world down there.

      do NOT fall asleep with your arm hanging over the side of the bed or they WILL get you.

    • CommunistBear [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I mean if the bottles don't open there's nowhere for the evaporation to go. The only logical explanation is ghosts

    • sappho [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Whenever I lose something for absolutely no reason - like it seems like it fell into another dimension, because it dropped to the floor and now it's nowhere at all - I ask the house spirits to please give it back because I need it, and offer them something in exchange. The thing always seems to turn up later in a spot that I definitely checked the first go round.

  • Ithorian [comrade/them, he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Lime disease is an escaped bio-weapon. It was first recorded just a few miles from an off shore bio-weapons "research" facility. Testing of historic (preserved in amber/ice/whatever) ticks shows no evidence of it.

    • KobaCumTribute [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I know there's a theory that Stalin was assassinated and that Beria was personally involved in that. If that's the case, then the other conspirators disposing of him quietly makes sense.

        • KobaCumTribute [she/her]
          ·
          2 years ago

          I do know Hoxha at least claimed to immediately believe it was an assassination as soon as he heard of Stalin's death. IIRC he was said to have wept and railed against Khrushchev and the others, certain that they'd assassinated Stalin.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      His ideology was... CORN! :corn-man-khrush:

    • CliffordBigRedDog [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Evidence suggests that Beria also murdered some of these women. In 1993, construction workers installing streetlights unearthed human bones near Beria's Moscow villa. Skulls, pelvises and leg bones were found.[70] In 1998, the skeletal remains of five young women were discovered during work carried out on the water-pipes in the garden of the same villa (now the Tunisian Embassy).[71] Each had been shot through the base of the skull and had likely been naked when buried due to the lack of articles found on the bodies. Medical examiners estimated that the remains had been placed alongside the conduit at the time it was laid, in the summer of 1949.[72] In 2011, building workers digging a ditch in Moscow city centre unearthed a common grave near the same residence, containing a pile of human bones, including two children's skulls covered with lime or chlorine. The lack of articles and the condition of the remains indicate that these bodies were also buried naked in this same time period.

      the problem is that all this came out after the dissolution of the USSR

  • Elon_Musk [none/use name]
    ·
    2 years ago

    You know that thing where you're growing up and realize adults are just normal people and the rich ones just got lucky? Same goes for you boss, your senator, your president. I mean they're a whole lot more evil and literally drink human blood, but...

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      I haven't stopped enjoying takes like that coming from your particular username.

  • Owl [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Okay, so a lot of social media platforms favor right-wing or even outright fascist views. There are systemic reasons for this. Capitalists are usually chummy with fascists because they're useful idiots who don't get much in the way of profits and keep the commies down. Culture war bullshit drives clicks. Answering to shareholders and the state department means crushing leftist voices until only the far right remains.

    But for my conspiracy theory, I suspect that some group of managers and upper execs at YouTube are deliberately, specifically working to use the platform to promote white supremacist and fascist ideas, outside of all the usual systemic reasons, because they're true believers of that shit. And whoever got it started has nepotism networked it enough that that whole branch of Google's org chart is full of them.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      The crazy is contemplating how billions of people are more or less fine with it under any number of excuses. :agony-deep:

      • silent_water [she/her]
        ·
        2 years ago

        they're not though. they just don't see any conceivable ways to fix it - and everyone who promises to seems to turn out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing.

        • UlyssesT [he/him]
          hexagon
          ·
          edit-2
          2 years ago

          The ruling class wants their treats and want those treats to flow at ever increasing levels. They want the high score :stonks-up: and they either don't care about or they want to end the world because fuck anything that might exist after they do. :agony-4horsemen:

          The rest of us are mostly placated by cliche-but-true bread-and-circuses distractions. :agony-minion:

          • silent_water [she/her]
            ·
            2 years ago

            the ruling class is mind-numbingly stupid, you already established that. for the rest of us - the distractions don't work forever. eventually there's another crisis of capitalism and you're caught in between a rock and a hard place, and the man with the whip is demanding your dignity too. when it happens to enough people at the same time, the fighting will start - that if nothing else should be the lesson of May 2020.

            • UlyssesT [he/him]
              hexagon
              ·
              edit-2
              2 years ago

              the distractions don’t work forever. eventually there’s another crisis of capitalism and you’re caught in between a rock and a hard place, and the man with the whip is demanding your dignity too. when it happens to enough people at the same time, the fighting will start

              The ruling class has gotten very, very good at redirecting valid anger. "BROWN PEOPLE!" "TRANS PEOPLE!" "FOREIGNERS!" "CHINA!" and more can and have been blamed for the inevitable crises in capitalism. I truly don't know how many can see through the fog of bullshit no matter how many times it is deployed.

            • UlyssesT [he/him]
              hexagon
              ·
              2 years ago

              Well, if my conspiracy theory isn't that great, I'd be pleased to hear yours.

  • TC_209 [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Anti-smoking ads are purposely cringy/stupid because the tobacco companies that pay for them want to make them as ineffective as possible.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      On the flip side of that, cigarette smoking made a massive comeback with older Millennials and younger Gen-X with a deliberate and no-longer-secret marketing program that involved handing out cigarettes at hipster-infested coffee clubs (the precursors to Starbucks franchises that completely crushed them over time under pretense of following their mystique) while directly reminding the hipsters that the D.A.R.E. program and other uncool boors said smoking was bad, unhealthy, and so on. The spite mechanism kicked in, and a new wave of smokers was hooked.

  • InappropriateEmote [comrade/them, undecided]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I don't know, I used to think exactly as you describe. But listening to TrueAnon has completely won me over that there is some seriously deep, shady shit going on.

    As for my personal conspiracy theory, it's that stop-lights are made intentionally so that they waste as much of people's time waiting at them as possible for the sake of using more gasoline just sitting there idling.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      There might be some deep shady shit going on but I doubt it's unified, and I doubt the leadership of the numerous pockets of deep shady shit is that much more competent or wiser than the twitter shitters we see today, except at very narrow niche specializations like "increase human suffering" or "get richer faster."

  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    it's not really homemade or personal, but anytime I think about or see fucked up shit in Europe, I imagine its connection(s) to Operation Gladio.

    The Americas? Operation Bloodstone.

    edit: one more... Charles Manson was a CIA/MK-Ultra type mind fuck operation that went sideways/got out of hand.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      So was Jonestown. Jones himself was one of their trained operatives.

      It does give me chills wondering what they successfully did without fuckups that we don't know about.

      • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        "[X] was a CIA [Y] operation that [Z]." is a rich genre of conspiracy worms.

        • Charles Manson/mind control/went sideways
        • Jim Jones/cult recruiting/got out of hand
        • Epstein/blackmail/has been tied off
        • 9-11/False Flag/succeeded
        • Steve Jobs/domestic surveillance/is still paying off
        • Quibi/propaganda/shit the bed
      • mars [none/use name]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        Sirhan Sirhan killing bobby Kennedy probably. Not that he killed him, just fucking his head up to be there but not remember how

  • Diogenes_Barrel [love/loves]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    cops are straight up putting the fent into the supply-chain

    like i get drug dealers aren't exactly stand-up people but consistently pushing tainted product that kills a cohort of your customers and chills the market ain't good business

    cops on the other hand leverage overdoses into bigger budgets & it fits neatly with their genocidal attitude to the poor & unhoused

    • SkolShakedown [he/him, any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      This makes so much sense. And why there's confirmed stories of cocaine laced with fent? who would do that if you're selling cocaine???

    • MerryChristmas [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Yeah, some of the drugs they find mixed with fent make no sense at all. This is definitely the case at least some of the time.

      Unfortunately, there are psychopaths in the drug-dealing world, too. I remember this guy who was a fairly respected ketamine darknet vendor until someone found a forum post where he talked about occasionally spiking his product to kill "druggy scumbags." The guy claimed it was a joke and for all I know it was, but Jesus, it scared the hell out of me. It's like that doctor in the UK - there are people out there who just enjoy causing suffering, even when it is at direct odds with their personal interests.

      And then on top of that, fent analogs became really popular in the gray market scene for a few years due to the bans on just about every other opioid. New fentalogs were popping up all the time after each successive ban wave, and the only other opioid that was easily available was a low-potency Tramadol metabolite (which wouldn't put a dent in a real habit). Kids with serious addictions were ordering these analogs from China and it pretty much killed the research chemical scene. People dropped off the forums after asking for dosing advice far too often.

      So what I'm getting at is that I think the problem started organically and police likely took the narrative and rolled with it.