Just spent hours dealing with things I really wish I didn't have to deal with while pretending to be far stronger than I am for people who obviously needed some leadership in a crisis.

Rip to a real worker. Rip to a man who worked non stop to ridiculous effort his whole life and had it all stolen by parasites. Rip to someone whose politics FINALLY came around to my side during the final weeks of his life when he realised he didn't give a shit about any of the work and wish he'd spent more time on other things. Rip to a would-be marxist who simply never had the time, energy or theory to become one.

Good night dad. You went out peacefully at home like you wanted at least.

EDIT: I fucking love you all and he would have too.

      • Nakoichi [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        Shedding some tears for your dad, that fucking sucks.

        • Awoo [she/her]
          hexagon
          ·
          4 years ago

          He'd probably be upset about tears for him, he'd have loved to know people cracked a beer for him though, I had a few with a sibling tonight before they took him away. He was a "celebrate my life" man.

  • hauntingspectre [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Yeah, the process of detangling a life is rough. You'll find out things, good and bad, to help fill in the full picture of he who was as a man. There will be some good times in the process too.

    Take care of yourself and those around you like he would have wanted you too!

    • Awoo [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      Interesting phrasing. Detangling a life.. I can see that visualisation.

  • PorkrollPosadist [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    4 years ago

    :ak47: :ak47: :ak47: :sankara-salute: :ak47: :ak47: :ak47:

    I'm sorry for your loss, sister. I went through this a few years back. Similar story. Working class hero. He didn't have the best politics when I was growing up either, but a few of his coworkers managed to plant some seeds in his head. When I disappeared for days at a time into the mob at Occupy Wall Street, he supported me and even went to bat for me against his chud brothers when the subject came up.

    He hadn't been retired for even a single year before health complications put him in the hospital, and he was gone a week later. At least I got to have a long heart to heart with him before he passed. Fortunately the union pension is keeping the family afloat, and he got to do some cool things in his life before reaching retirement, but damn. It really is an eye opener.

    Anyway, I offer my deepest solidarity. Things will never be the same, but life carries on none the less. Do your best to enjoy life and find meaning. It would make him happier than anything in the world for you to find happiness yourself.

    • Awoo [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      It really is an eye opener.

      It really really is. A moment of exceptional clarity on shit that absolutely does not fucking matter.

  • QuickEveryonePanic [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Sorry for your loss, comrade. Love and solidarity all the way from Amsterdam. I don't know if you've been through something like this before so I'll just say this. In about a week or so, when the funeral is over, everyone is back to their normal routine and there is nothing practical and immediate to take care of anymore there will be a moment. This moment there will be nothing but the loss. This is a hard moment but also a good moment. It will be completely about you and your dad. That, for me, was the hardest time. Just know we are all here. My DMs are open if you ever need someone to talk to or just need a place to vent.

    07

    • Awoo [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      Thanks Quick. I'll remember that when it comes! :heart-sickle:

    • Awoo [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      :sankara-salute: :heart-sickle:

  • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Thank you for being the rock for your loved ones in this hard time. They may not know how to show it right now, but their service doing them really can't be understated.

    I'm sorry your having to do that though, and even more so for your loss. Here's to a comrade at the end.

    • Awoo [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      It's fine, really. I have the kind of character that deals well in crisis-mode situations. I can plug into a sort of "get things done" mode like a light-switch. It's rough and I know I'm shutting down emotions to deal with later but I'll be alright and spare them a bunch of traumas, moving him and bag etc, that kind of thing is honestly deeply traumatic stuff I wish on nobody.

        • Awoo [she/her]
          hexagon
          ·
          4 years ago

          I didn't carry him, but I did have to deal with the undertakers and I didn't want to not be in the room. Someone had to be there you know? To watch him get moved, sealed up, and to make sure he was cared for properly. We have the tighest corners filled with the most junk too so I was scrambling around to clear space and such to get him out. He went at home in the upstairs bedroom exactly where he wanted to, he still had the strength to say NOOO loudly when a nurse asked if he wanted a hospital bed yesterday. She wasn't even asking about the hospital but an at-home hospital bed that would help with handling sores etc. It's a funny lasting moment of his stubbornness and the fact he was still listening.

  • Mardoniush [she/her]
    ·
    4 years ago

    That's rough comrade. RIP to the exact sort of person we're building a new world for. I wish he could have seen it.

    • Awoo [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      Aww. I appreciate that, I'm not religious but he was and I would honeslty love to be proven wrong.

  • Whodonedidit [he/him,comrade/them]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I lost my dad last year, and even though I didn't have a close relationship with him it was still a very hard and weird time. It's an odd sort of void that opens up that threatens to consume what it can. Like comrade ScreamoBMO said, take some time. Let it out and you'll find your footing when it's time.

    It may sound weird but what helped me was watching some good ol Bojack Horseman. It' the kind of show that makes you feel okay for feeling shitty sometimes. All the hugs, Awoo.

    • Awoo [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      :heart-sickle:

      I can't be consumed by the void until we've won.

  • TwilightLoki [he/him,any]
    ·
    4 years ago

    It’s been great getting to know you on here. I’m sorry and I hope we can help support you in this time.

    • Awoo [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      It's been great getting into the recognisable gang! I appreaciate it a lot. :heart-sickle: