I went jogging today. I'm not good at it, but soon I will be able to out-sprint a corpulent police piggie.

How did I achieve this feat? Magic mushrooms. Turns out they really can alleviate severe depression, at least in my case. Obviously your results may vary, but six hours of tripping has bought me five days of clear head, no anxiety, no depression, and no desire to die. This is better than any official medication I've been on in the last twenty years. Type II Bipolar depression is notoriously difficult to treat but they've been making inroads with "New" therapies like mushrooms and ketamine that were made illegal by the Nixon administration and all subsequent administrations so they could put black people and hippies in jail.

America Delende est.