I study computer science and any time I sit down to code, I just browse or watch Youtube. Anything but do the work. Days and even months have gone by like this where I haven't done even an hour of learning. Its tough because in order to code I need to be in front of a screen but my brain refuses to study and just looks for that dopamine hit. My grades have suffered and I feel like a constant failure.
To clarify this is not an effect of the pandemic but has been happening for the past few years.
Habits are real and very powerful. One thing that worked for me in Uni, (besides a fine-tuned regimen of stimulants and whisky,) was to have a particular table where I did my schoolwork and writing and where I didn't ever just hang out online. If you work from a desktop so can't separate your leisure space from your work space, you might try some other trigger or talisman that you learn to associate with work time as opposed to leisure. This could take the form of an object, a routine, or even a thinking cap. The trick is to remove the trigger to fuck around online that you get from sitting down where you always fuck around online.
I've tried doing this and it goes well for a week or two. Then I falter and I go into a downward spiral where its a complete relapse to my old habits. :/
Just gotta break through that barrier and keep at it until force of habit takes over. I wish there were an easy switch, but some things do take a little pushthrough.
That's normal for trying to create new habits. Just keep trying, remind yourself that it works when you do it (the opposite of the little voice inside your head that tells you that you suck when you mess up), and when you (inevitably) mess up, forgive yourself and get back on track.
Was about to give this same advice. You can also change your clothes. "Work/school clothes" = time to work, ratty pjs = time to play.
I started reading books again a few years ago by doing reading challenges. Like book bingos or "read 10 minutes a day". It's kinda sad but the gamify-ing of reading and the lil dopamine hit every time I checked off a box helped keep focused and motivated. (I don't have ADHD though, just spend way too much time online.)
It’s kinda sad
I've come to accept "if it's stupid but it works it isn't stupid" as a mantra for this kinda stuff lately. Three weeks ago I explicitly set myself the goal - like I wrote it down explicitly - that I'd read every night, right after dinner, as long or as short as I wanted but I had to at least crack the book. Since then I blasted through The Conquest of Bread and got a good chunk on a novel done. I've only missed two days, after I finished the first book and couldn't decide what to start next. It felt very silly - why couldn't I just read for pleasure whenever I felt like it if I wanted to read? But setting that goal, and putting a check in a notebook when I succeeded, and making a ritual out of it - put dishes in the sink, turn off the computer/TV/phone/everything, pour a beverage of some kind, sit on the couch and do the darn thing - it worked.
I still think I do have ADHD, I was diagnosed as a kid and even though I haven't been treated for it in many many years, I can still see it as a through-line throughout my life that I've sort of managed more-or-less successfully enough to get by. If making little games out of things or setting silly goals and keeping track of how long your streak is going or whatever is what helps manage, then it's a lot better than not doing it.
Yeah you're totally right. And honestly it turned out to be a fantastic decision for me - I became part of that community due to its book bingo and made some fantastic friends, and also I went from reading like two books a year to over 70 a year for the past 3. If it works, it works.
I really like your idea with setting a set time for reading! I'm thinking of doing that for the morning, as I'm trying to chill in front of my SAD lamp for 20 mins anyway. Might as well make it official reading time instead of scrolling through social media haha
That sounds like an awesome idea. I didn't realize it when I was setting the goal, but having that "trigger" was an essential part of the routine for me. I think if I just said "I'll read every day" then it would just be, like, hanging over my head all day making me feel guilty. Instead I took a time that is super unproductive and not conducive to me feeling good about myself - typically I'm just watching random junk and simultaneously scrolling social media and paying attention to neither of them - and use it in a way that makes me feel better.
Try ebooks. You still get to look at a screen and if you can read a comment thread on a forum then you can probably manage to a few paragraphs every now and then
Damn. I'd try out your hacks if not for the fact that I haven't done drugs ever in my life. Never even touched alcohol lol.
As for your offer, I don't have any hw or projects going on rn but I'll be sure to hit you up if anything comes up. If nothing else, at least to help you stay productive.
I don't 😎 but seriously I'm pretty sure I've got undiagnosed ADHD and the closest appointment I can get with a specialist is August
idk I might be able to find a place a few hours away. Rural America :)
Got diagnosed with ADHD and now have a prescription for that tbh. I'd look into adhd a bit more of you haven't cause I thought a lot of the issues I was having were normal or were just me being lazy and that adhd was more like "oh look squirrel!" disorder. In reality it's more like attention regulation disorder - can't make yourself focus on anything no matter how much internal pleading you do. Tbh the r/adhdmeme subreddit is a pretty good starting point for "oh no this is all very relatable". For me I didn't really notice it as a standout problem until a couple years ago but in hindsight it is pretty obvious that it impacted me to some extent most of my life.
Does ADHD randomly pop up in life or is it a chronic condition? For me, this has been a relatively new thing in my academic life. I’ve only noticed it happening since my senior year of high school(I’m in senior year of college rn). Before that, I could focus for hours on end without a hitch. Would you say these are grounds enough to go to a doctor?
It's probably worth it, yeah. And "not being able to focus on stuff" isn't really the crux of adhd either, it's more like "I can't make myself want to focus on this particular assignment, but there's another one for another class that sounded fun so I can focus on that." Like one of my coping strategies forever was "make sure there's something you want to do less than all the other things you need to do, so you can procrastinate on that bad thing by doing the less-bad ones". Having a really hard time keeping track of time, deadlines, etc is also a big one - I have a lot of high school memories of doing all my homework the period before it was due, I could absolutely focus on it then (especially with a deadline looming) but I'd never be able to do it any earlier than that.
For me it definitely got much worse in college, especially as I started having to balance way more adult-responsibility type tasks with school ones.
Woah, I think you just described my school years. Even when I was performing "well" academically , I did have moments where I procrastinated a lot in school like submitting hw/reports/projects close to the deadline or sometimes even after, not being able to study for exams in subjects I found “boring”.
doing all my homework the period before it was due, I could absolutely focus on it then (especially with a deadline looming) but I’d never be able to do it any earlier than that.
This hit the nail on the head. And it got so much worse in college as I got bogged down in other life stuff. Thus an entire semester would go by before I opened the textbook for any subject and that too just to pass the exams.
I've been going through the r/adhdmeme subreddit and holy shit, why am I in almost every single post. I took an online questionnaire on checking for signs of ADHD and I ticked 14 of the 18 questions as yes. I've been cursing myself for the past 5 years for my laziness and lack of motivation to study, thinking myself a failure for not being able to fulfill my responsibilities to my family by deliberately sabotaging my academic record, desperately searching for a reason to why I became like this but never finding it. I have been absolutely floored since finding out that nope it wasn't a character flaw that was causing me to sabotage myself but instead something I've been saddled with my entire life with no choice. I can't thank you and all the comrades that replied to my post enough. Atleast now I know what's causing all of this and I can take steps to better help myself instead of shooting in the dark and hoping it would work. Thank you once again.
Oh man that's a familiar feeling for sure. Glad I could help get you pointed in the right direction. Best of luck to you comrade, definitely feel free to reach out if you've got other questions (especially about the diagnosis process if you live in the states) :heart-sickle:
I'd also recommend the r/ADHD subreddit as a good compendium of resources and occasional helpful pro tips - it's one of the better subreddits left imo
Have you read up on or talked to a doctor about ADD? I was only recently diagnosed as an adult (27 years old), but medication has helped me a lot already. I’ve had issues with controlling my focus for a long time, but the pandemic really had intensified these issues, which helped push me to seek treatment.
Does ADD randomly pop up in life or is it a chronic condition? For me, this has been a relatively new thing in my academic life. I’ve only noticed it happening since my senior year of high school(I’m in senior year of college rn). Before that, I could focus for hours on end without a hitch.
Your story is similar to mine. I was diagnosed in my late 20s. When I took my first amphetamine prescription, my brain felt calm and decluttered for the first time in my life; it was an almost spiritual experience. I was instantly overcome with grief for the years of lost potential due to my parents having neglected my mental health.
I was “in the moment”
Yes! That's what made it spiritual: I experienced mindfulness. Now I understand what the Buddhists were going on about.
My country doesn't have adderall available as a drug. I'll try to find one with a similar formula. Thanks for the advice!
It doesn’t really “randomly” pop up, but certain environments as a child can cause symptoms to not be apparent. With me for example, I enjoyed school as a child, so I didn’t really have to make any effort to focus in class. But as I got older with more responsibilities and pressure, the symptoms became more obvious.
Hmmm when I think about it, I did have moments where I procrastinated a lot in school(submitting reports close to the deadline or sometimes even after, not being able to study for exams in subjects I found "boring") despite my relatively good academic record. I think going to a doctor might be worth it after all if what you're saying is true in my case. Thanks regardless though.
I would, if you have the ability. Inattention can be a symptom of several things, not just ADD/ADHD. But if there's something like that going on to the point where it's interfering with your life, there's someone who's job it is to figure out what's happening and help you fix it.
I smoked a lot of weed and would work really slowly in the weed tunnel vision. Sometimes I'd get adhd meds from friends.
Nowadays, i only get things done when my ADHD hyperfocus kicks in. Today I think I'm going to put up a shelf.
- Meds ✅
- Ambitious goal? ✅
- Sleep? ❌
Oh yeah, it's hyperfocus time. 😎
For me I've worked out that I don't respond well to rules, but I do respond well to real deadlines and stuff that I care about doing. The only CS projects that I have put serious time into have been stuff where I have a higher goal (create html CV to get job, create coronavirus graphs to understand if it's Bad) and the only time I'm good at school work is if the deadline is soon enough — and fake deadlines don't do anything for me. I think doing some meta thinking about when you have successfully been able to work (if you can't think then try different strategies) and go from there.
For social media addiction stuff, I've found putting my phone out of eye sight and reach; and having a browser with 'fun' on a different virtual desktop helps keep me on task. If I can see the thing it reminds me that social media exists and maybe I should check it just in case. My brain seems to think quickly checking sometihng that is open is fine, but expending effort to check the thing is not fine, even if it's not that much effort
A lot of these things have worked for me, and I'll add two more:
- If you take a break and read slop on the internet, make it only a 10-15 minute break, not something indefinite.
- Don't post, just read.
Lol my ADHD doesn't really allow for not procrastinating to some extent. When I don't take my vyvanse, honestly it's a coin flip if I'll get anything done that day in terms of work/goals. I'll frequently be working on an office email while on the clock and then suddenly find myself reading the wikipedia page for some tangentially related topic that has no actual bearing on the task at hand. But I can do that while medicated too (when I'm not really focused on a task at hand, but just idling at work - for example), so when I do take my vyvanse it isn't like I'm completely immune from my terrible brain.
Honestly though, I dunno if it is just depression from the state of things/life or the fact that I've been taking my vyvanse as prescribed regularly now (opposed to maybe once a week, like I did back at my old job) but I find I lose all motivation to get up and clock in for 8 hours of work three days into a vyvanse driven work-week. The end cannot come soon enough :posadist-nuke:
vyvanse/XR would turn me into a normal human bean for maybe hours 2-6 after taking it but then i'd come off the high and become nauseated, lose appetite, irritable, and have insomnia
had to do a 1 day on 2 day off sort of thing
medication fucking sucks fuck medication, why the fuck do i need to fuck myself up this bad to make a living
both my workstation and leisure spot are on my desktop so it is a bit difficult to separate the two, but others downthread have mentioned ways to work around this. Thanks for the advice regardless though.
This may be a "me probably being on the spectrum" thing, but I've always struggled with this sort of thing a lot, and I've definitely had to develop coping strategies to try and address it.
I think one of the more effective strategies for me has been "playing make believe". For example, I'll get myself to cook by playing "chef". I'll get myself to code by "playing hacker" / "playing engineer".
I also highly recommend this article. I think it has some really good insights, and helps build an awareness that may improve outcomes for you. It definitely resonated with me. https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/08/the-procrastination-loop-and-how-to-break-it/379142/
For me, this has been a relatively new thing in my academic life. I've only noticed it happening since my senior year of high school(I'm in senior year of college rn). Before that, I could focus for hours on end without a hitch. The internet I think partially broke my brain once I started to use it heavily. That combined with persisting self worth issues since high school due to getting shit grades even after giving it my all has probably been the root cause of my misery rn.
This is literally me right now holy shit. I have calculus and programming to do and instead i'm just browsing twitter and ChapoChat.
Getting myself into a fixed routine, keeping distractions to a minimum, and being offline more (not just when I'm supposed to work) have helped me a ton. I also listen to music through my work to feed me dopamine instead of pulling out my phone, and I've tried to be more 'productive' when I'm not doing stuff, like doing soduku puzzles, doodling, or playing with fidget toys/puzzles in between tasks.
Also since the pandemic started I've been getting up an hour early every morning to watch tv/play games/browse the web before taking a shower and starting my day with a small productive task, and I do something similar before doing my weekend classes
