Have any queer vibes to share? Here's your place! 
Talk about what’s happening queerly in your life - like coming out, getting HRT, questioning, and all that good stuff.
No cishets allowed! 
Reposting this cause I posted in the last thread literally right before this one got posted. Some trans joy, so I wanted to share :
Had my trans care intake meeting today and was referred to an endo. It went fine, but when they said that they were referring me I started crying 🥹I didn't expect all those emotions to hit me at the same time idk I never cry, it just feels like my dream is starting to become a reality after years and years of telling myself I would just die with this feeling and never would muster up the courage to face who I am. God I can't wait honestly
If you're anything like me be prepared to cry way more and in public even if you really don't want to after E! And sometimes over stuff like puppies being rescued lol
I wasn't ready for it and downplayed the emotional effects, it hit me like a truck because the haze of dysphoria kinda dulled my emotions for decades - plus boy socialization told me not to ever cry, so I literally had no ability to deal with the fact that I now cried like a lot and in front of people. I talked about it with my doctor and shed a few tears and he helped me see it in a gender affirming way instead of something to be embarrassed about (something like "well women cry in public sometimes"). I didn't have a healthy attitude towards that kind of stuff and I'm way more at peace with it now, and in the back of my head I guess it's affirming lol
I have a totally fucked up attitude towards crying I get sooo embarrassed. And yeH definitely feel you on the dulled emotions + boy socialization. I'm definitely hoping E lifts that cloud a bit bur I'm not holding my breath. Feel like it's gonna be a lot of therapy stuff
How long was it until that happened? I still barely feel less numb than before 3 months in
It didn't really start until 4 mg sublingual, but even on 3 I teared up.
got hrt !! (2 mg estro + 100 mg spiro)
any tips on how to take it? my doctor kinda just gave me the pills and the only instructions are to swallow which ive heard gives a really low dose
So for the green little Estradiol tablets what you are supposed to do is dissolve them underneath your tongue, but I wouldn't do anything special for spiro
ngl i tried that and i feel great for a few hrs but then it feels like i crash and feel like shit the rest of the day
They ramp up over time if they're following WPATH. They have to see how your body responds to that dose, so you'll probably do this for a couple months or so, get blood work and talk to them and they'll probably increase your dose until you stabilize your estradiol levels and decrease T levels to whatever you and them think is good and then only do check ups every once in a while.
There are risks to E which is why they're cautious and ramp up but the risks are a little overstated imo (for example your risk of thromboembolisms does go up... to cis women's levels lol and similarly with breast cancer after something like 5 years, yes it goes up but just to parity with cis women).
Also feeling like you're crashing after spiro for the first few times is probably more normal, it's a diuretic so its forcing your liquids out - you should probably adjust in a couple days and your BP will stabilize and you'll probably just feel normal to good! I did like it as they increased my E fwiw, but I still felt pretty good on 2 mg of E compared to pre HRT lol
i had a feeling it was the piss drug :(( good to know i should expect crashes if im not drinking water tho
yeah my doc usually would do sublingual 4mg, 1 in morning 1 in evening
I'm doing alright today! One of my roommates girlfriend is coming over today so it'll be interesting to meet her and see how things go :)
Since my sex drive is pretty low nowadays due to E, I'm starting to wonder if I'm asexual since I never really enjoyed sex in the past
On one hand, I could be ace and I only sought out sex because of compulsory allosexuality or I might not be ace and I only hated sex because of the gender dysphoria (?) that it gave me
Either way, I'm enjoying the low sex drive! Always thought being horny often was kind of annoying to deal with
Glad you're feeling better! Being horny is indeed annoying to deal with lol I'm wondering how it's gonna get me when I'm on E
got into an argument with queerphobes in my irl friends gc over me kicking some weird fucking really right wing trad-orthodox guy ages ago, and so in the argument i burnt a few bridges, i think it's probably for the better that i wont be talkign to them much in future ngl
I tried very hard for a long time, but at this point I got the hard backlash finally and laid out the ultimatum that if they added back the very open homophobe I'd kicked from the GC before, I'd leave. It got pretty heated, and they said they were dead set on re-adding him so I left
If these people are allowed in your friend group, this does not seem like a very welcoming friend group. Hopefully this was not too stressful to deal with.
I've been having an... Interesting couple of weeks.
(TW: Transphobia, Parental Abuse, mention of CSA and suicide)
So my parents found out about my getting HRT because I kept getting fucked over by hospital bureaucracy. (Somehow both appointments I had notified home instead of email or cell like I asked)
They reacted about as I expected, my mother is pretty transphobic and has gone through every argument in the book (calling me and all trans people perverts, "subtly" comparing me to a nonce by complaining about how there's a trans pedo in some prison (then ignoring me pointing out how many cis pedos there are), telling me to listen to detransitioners (I have lmao, I'm literally friends with a desistor and have spent quite some time in the not-transphobic detrans reddit), and just typical terf rhetoric (Apparently terf rhetoric doesn't hit me as hard as the rest, probably since I just find it ridiculous. She dropped it pretty quick when I laughed at it.))
She also started threatening me with her suicide again so that's... Fun... But she's been doing it so flippantly and frequently that it's lost its edge, especially since my siblings had to deal with that from her too and she never committed.
It still kinda hits me sometimes whenever she's alone though, just a heavy worry at the back of my mindMy father meanwhile kept insisting that I'm making a mistake and should live a year as a woman first. (I did, just not at home) Until today at least, where he realised from the doc's accidental call that he is "technically" paying for my HRT through my school insurance and so he gave me an ultimatum of either I stop transitioning or he stops paying for my university. I picked the latter.
It may have been the worse choice compared to just hiding it and pretending I desisted, but I don't care, I have enough money saved up to pay for my remaining tuition so long as I can get a job over the summer and maybe a scholarship or two. It will probably fuck me over in the long run though because I might not have enough money for my grad school unless I can get a really good scholarship.
Despite all this though I'm sitting here typing this and just, I still feel kinda happy? Like when my parents first found out it really fucked my mental state. But today, even with that ultimatum, I have my HRT prescription and should be able to start it this week and the happiness from that is strong enough that I don't feel as bad as I did for the past month. It's a very odd feeling.
i can't even imagine going through what you have, but feeling confident in your identity and decision through all of that must feel pretty good. i hope things stay safe at home and they both eventually come around
So many beautiful men playing in the Ireland vs New Zealand rugby match tonight. Johnny Sexton will always have my heart
Aaron Smith is cute too but I will never forgive him for being on the New Zealand team that ended Johnny Sexton's career
I love rugby players they have such beautiful asses, it's truly a thing of beauty
Having a support network helps massively, even just online. I will never be able to thank them enough for how much they let me see myself.
Got GayBlade set up on my Macintosh IIfx. Next stop: HyperCard and Caper In The Castro.
That game looks sweet.
Also man I loved HyperCard. For anyone who is interested to access it (like so you can play the game) according to to the Wikipedia for HyperCard and MacOS Classic you can use emulation built in to any version of Mac OSX up to 10.4 on PPC architecture to run it. So you don't need to dig up quite such an old computer. But extra points for style for those who do.
I think I'm falling for this lady I've been dating for a few months. It's kinda anxiety inducing
Hello comrades, over the past few months I have been heavily questioning my gender and feel that I am either gender fluid or transfemme. I feel lost, and I have zero idea of what to do. I saw this community and I thought it would be a good place to ask if there are any resources for people questioning like me. Thank you for your time.
I'm so happy for you! Even if you do this questioning and end up cis on the other side, it's still a great achievement. Everyone's journey looks different and it's okay to take your time, change your mind one way or another, etc.
Play with your gender presentation! If you don't feel safe you can do stuff like paint your toe nails and wear a bralette under your clothes (I did before I socially transitioned). Gender is a fuck and isn't real - but saying that I definitely feel like and enjoy being a woman lol. If you're in a safer place but just want to explore, try dressing up femme at home! You can push it if you really want to by going out en femme, especially on Halloween. I don't know about the nonbinary side but I imagine they have similar advice.
The first time I bought girl clothes for myself and not "as a joke" or "for drag" my heart pounded out of my chest and I thought everyone could tell so I bought food with it too lmao
Thank you for the advice, I really can’t express how much I appreciate it!
I haven't read it myself, but the trans reddits would always recommend this site as a good starting point: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
Some small stuff I found helpful when I was just realising were a bunch of articles I'd read on some basic things like how to tuck properly or how to style longer hair in feminine ways (since I already had long hair, if you have short hair there's probably articles for that too though). Unfortunately I didn't save them and the few I did have been deleted since then, but there's a lot out there on this stuff that a simple google could find. Practicing with these small things are really helpful for getting a more concrete understanding of how you relate to your gender.
If you live in a more accepting place then there are likely some local resources which will be helpful too, especially since they'll usually include the info of local groups or doctors.
Personally a lot of what helped me figure it out was just hanging out in trans spaces as a lurker and realising how close everything felt to my own experiences, as well as discussing it with a few trans friends I had. It took me something like 6 months of active questioning before I started to lean more on the "I'm trans" side than not, and another few before I felt any degree of certainty.
Also keep in mind while questioning that it's perfectly fine to not figure it out right away. You might try being "just" a binary trans woman and then find you're more non-binary or vise versa. Desisting/detransitioning if you realise after a while that maybe you aren't trans is fine too. Ultimately it's a process that takes a while for anyone to reach any confident conclusions on. Just try to make sure you aren't being pressured into any specific interpretation of yourself by someone else: what matters is who you are.
Sorry there's not much in terms of concrete links here, I got a bit carried away with my usual babytrans big sister-ing. (And I just don't have many links saved) If you want to discuss anything feel free to ask me about it.
Thank you for your advice and personal insights, I read the link you sent and I think it really helped
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