like I don't wanna be mr cracker callin cops but say you hear your neighbor bang on his front door so loud it shakes your apartment 3 rooms away, you hear him inside yelling with a woman, hard to tell what they say, but you clearly hear "get out of my face" from her, and either "give me my keys" or "give me my kids" (but wtf???) from her, shouting, and then pounding like someone is being flung around the room
is this cop time? do cops make things worse? is this "just talk to your neighbors" time even though the clear and present threat of violence is there?? I literally do not know what to do. I panicked, I called the cops, I think they literally just talked to the guy and then left.. idk what the alternative would be, I can't just get the woman alone to ask if she's okay when the dude's almost always there, guy is like 7 foot fuck,
e: I don't know how to reconcile "all cops suck they make everything worse" with not wanting to be a fucking bystander when someone is potentially (from all the sensory information I can gather) getting beaten by their partner
if a neighbor is beating his wife call the cops on his ass. Shouldn't even be a debate.
I think the only worry is “Will cops just make this even worse?”
i mean that literally is the worry. people here who don't have a commitment to abolition still don't get that cops aren't an imperfect solution to antisocial behavior, they're no solution at all. they may resolve a problem by accident, just like a monkey with a gun would, but that's not what they're there to do.
Agreed. My rule for calling the cops is “Is this situation so bad that throwing in an armed racist maniac is more likely going to improve the situation” which so far has meant never.
I don’t know what I would do in this situation, most likely I’d do nothing and feel incredibly guilty and constantly questioning if I made the right choice.
If your only option is to call them then it is infinitely better than sitting around and doing nothing. We don’t currently live in a communist project where this contradiction is solved, and the average individual person doesn’t have the means to solve this themselves. Yeah they’re just going to show up and most likely do nothing, but at least youve taken the most amount of action afforded to you by the state. Not to say that this is the correct course of action in all scenarios though.
this is really the crux of the issue isn't it? it's the same argument that globe emojis use to defend neocon actions. "it's not ideal but america couldn't just stand by and do nothing!" no matter how much context you provide for how hideously harmful the action was, it all circles back to their personal need to do something to absolve themselves of the guilt of inaction.
weird example because the "guilt of inaction" is purely ideological for the neocons, as opposed to actual guilt over community violence
if your only standard is "well it might result in deadly harm coming to one or more innocent people, but at least it's not nothing" then a better option is to get a gun and barge in there yourself
I said all cops are bastards, I meant all cops are bastards. I'm a communist. What do you want.
We live in the world as it currently is, not in the one we would like to have. It would be nice to be able to call someone skilled in psychology and conflict resolution or a people's militia that was responsible to the community but we don't have those things at the moment.
If you are afraid the people next door are hurting eachother lots of times cops are your only realistic option to save the victim. It's a shitty option but if the alternative is doing nothing and letting the abuse go on then you shouldn't feel bad for doing it.
Just think about all the domestic violence that happens in nice houses with well soundproofed walls
We’re all so individualized that trying to help a stranger in an abusive relationship is almost impossible. The abuser will turn their partner against their friends and families so they’re probably not gonna put their trust in a stranger
I think I did but I really don't know especially when all I hear afterwards is the cop talking to the guy. Maybe I just didn't hear the woman speak with them, idk. I was full of adrenaline for half an hour and just shaking. My GF was mad at me for calling the cops because "they probably know it was us" and the potential for reprisal, etc. But it's been a couple days. Literally the next day though I hear BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG on their door so loud the building shakes 3 doors away again. But I didn't hear them fighting. So it's like, did I just ensure he quietly beats his partner? Idk. It's too much for me to process
My GF was mad at me for calling the cops because “they probably know it was us”
if they're three doors down they don't know who it is
I think you did the right thing as a one off, but it should be a good reason to talk with a few of your neighbors if possible and agree to confront the guy together if something like this happens again. I wouldn't make a habit of calling the cops or thinking they'll accomplish anything
what is the deal with hexbear encouraging people to call the cops? it is not okay. you did not do the right thing. look at what happened: a bunch of thumbs with guns showed up, decided "this is no worse than what I do to my wife at home," and left. if it was an abuse situation that needed intervention, they did objectively nothing to help, as you ought to have expected. and that woman would have been horrified to see the cops show up, knowing that she'd have to pay for her partner's doubled wrath later.
I understand that you felt powerless in a shitty situation and wanted to do something, but landing on "I should call the police, they will help me" is a mad mayo thing to think. you need to step up your game, those are rookie levels of cop-loathing.
So OP should have done nothing? Or they should have gone to the door alone against someone who is obviously violent and bigger than them and done what? They have no power to make the abuser stop and instead just paint a target on their back.
The chances the cops arrest the guy are about zero, but it seems incredibly unlikely that he goes back to assaulting her the same night after someone just called the cops from the noise.
I hate the cops as much as anyone here, but unless you're the biggest guy in the apartment by a substantial margin or have a large group of fellow renters to confront him, what is the recourse outside of letting it happen and hoping he doesn't kill her?
the only benefit you can possibly claim is that the police stopped the violence this one time. the problem with that is that it enrages abusers because it makes them feel powerless. he would seethe at the humiliation of having to yes-sir a bunch of cops and be even more likely to kill her the next time. you can try to intervene every time, but once you add in the risk of having cops around, you're way in the red.
in terms of constructive suggestions, you can:
- decide that it's not your problem. do nothing and hope that he doesn't kill her. or,
- knock on their door yourself. imo you pretty much have to do this if she starts screaming. if you have a relationship with your neighbors, knock on at least one other door first and ask for them to join you. tell the guy to knock it off, or push your way past him and try to get to her and ask if she needs help.
both of these options are strictly better for everyone than calling the police
Certainly a difficult situation to handle in our atomized and pig filled world. Ideally this is a scenario that encourages OP to find a few neighbors who would help confront the guy in the future because that is 100 % the best course of action.
in fact, OP should talk to the other neighbors now so they have a plan for the next incident. If neighbors want to call the pigs remind them how long it took them to show up and how much damage an abuser can do in that time.
decide that it’s not your problem. do nothing and hope that he doesn’t kill her. or,
A very loose definition of constructive
constructive, adj. definition:
strictly better for everyone than calling the police
what is the deal with hexbear encouraging people to call the cops?
thank you for your take on hexbear, new account made 3 days ago
also :acab-3: . Calling them is not a good idea though imho
this is why I hate changing my username, everyone suspicious of ban evasion :sadness:
yah you just gotta ride that wave out for a lil while
:meow-floppy:
I don't know why they're piling on you when all you have said makes more sense than their reasoning.
The cops shows up. Probably asks some questions about domestic disturbance and leaves. The guy thinks his partner called the pigs and beats them up more(if they were beating them up in the first place). All I am getting from OP is shouting. Or if they were poc then the pigs shoot first. Like that hasn't happened before.
"I panicked and call the cops" is a big lib move when OP didn't even go there and talked to the people involved. If OP is scared then they could have asked their other neighbors. A big lib move since it could have got people killed.
They may beat you, they’ll probably call you slurs, but some countries put in a little more effort than Americans
this idea that acab should only apply to America is dangerous bullshit.
We don't know if the OP is American or not unless they said it somewhere. Calling the cops without understanding what is even going on without talking to the people involved(again the OP can ask the other neighbors to come along) is a surefire way to get someone potentially killed. You do more harm than good unless it's an absolute life and death situation like a standoff and even then pigs have done more harm than good.
of course you can't blame the victim for anything they do in that situation. but it should be their choice unless their life is in danger. I've been in that place of a busybody calling the police and having armed men stomp in full of concern. it's humiliating to be put in that position of being extremely vulnerable but having to put on a brave face and explain "no no I'm fine, it was just a misunderstanding, I'm sorry, I'm okay."
also, acab isn't just a slogan, it's a deep, learned revulsion. if everything I owned were stolen (which isn't much) I wouldn't go to the police. if I were assaulted, I wouldn't go to the police. it has nothing to do with leftist principles, it has to do with seeing them as murdering, wifebeating pieces of shit who will not help me and will probably just make things worse.
One time this guy fucked up on meth or drunk or something was trying to kick my door down at like 3 am. The whole time he’s screaming that he’s trying to get to a girl that’s in there, there was no girl in there, he was at the wrong apartment and I tell him that through the door but he just keeps kicking and yelling louder saying I’m trying to hide her. He’s kicking full force now and the door is shit to begin with, I know he’s gonna kick it in soon.
So I have no realistic options left. Should I have opened the door and fought this mystery man at 3 a.m. over his own delusions? It was small town Oklahoma so I guess I could have shot him and the judge would have called it self-defense like a right-wing fantasy. But I didn’t do those things, I was against calling the cops on people but hadn’t figured out when if ever it was warranted so I threatened it and he runs away instantly. Did I do the right thing? I don’t fucking know. That was years ago and I still think about it because I know he probably just kept looking for whoever this girl was after he left.
My rule of thumb is, "Is this situation so bad that I'd be willing to involve a mafia?"
In that situation, I'd answer Yes
I understand your apprehension comrade but it is important to remember we have to work with the tools we have. As society stands at the moment there really isn't another way to handle a problem like this.
