like.. even most irl leftists don't seem to support us, especially outside of america. my dad's a borderline fascist, my mom's an alcoholic, my friends will most likely stop talking to me out of shame, dating is fucking impossible when trans.

why live

  • cumwaffle [she/her]
    hexagon
    ·
    4 years ago

    i do, but i don't know if it's worth losing literally everyone in my life and setting myself up for a life of pain and solitude

    • hauntingspectre [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      I went on a date once with a woman who transitioned at 40 (wound up being too much distance between where we lived for it to work out). I also met another woman who came out and transitioned in her 60s last year, at a party where she was with her wife.

      I know that might not be helpful right now, and I'm not telling you not to start your process now. But, if for your personal safety you choose to delay starting your transition, transition later in life is still possible.

      But you know you, and there are trans comrades here who have probably been where you are now. Reach out and talk with them and/or us when you need to.

      And remember, your friends might surprise you!

    • QuickEveryonePanic [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      People you lose for being who you are might not be worth hanging on to. I know that sounds harsh and I also know it's not that easy, but I do think it's true. Also, my hope is that you will find quite a lot of queer folks/spaces at your new college. My brother did and it made him coming out and transitioning way easier. Don't give up hope now. You haven't even started living yet. Be kind to yourself, comrade. 07

      • cumwaffle [she/her]
        hexagon
        ·
        4 years ago

        thank you for the kind words <3. my situation is pretty shitty cause im starting college, which means im gonna be dependent on my parents for the next few years... also i have no idea how i'm gonna fucking come out to an entire school, i have social anxiety and this is just.... hhhhh

          • cumwaffle [she/her]
            hexagon
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            4 years ago

            sorry, i should have specified im not american - colleges here don't have dorms, they're just like regular schools. i thought about steath HRT, problem is though the system in europe is awful and doesn't really let you go stealth, they expect you to come out to everyone. idk i'm just scared of getting bullied or worse, im not good at socializing and im studying IT so im expecting a whole lot of chuds. i live in a large city so getting my own flat is gonna be literally impossible, rents are fucking insane. i seriously feel so hopeless.

            • uwu [she/her]
              ·
              4 years ago

              /r/transDIY can help you get started without the healthcare system, and can be a shortcut to getting legit HRT. Lots of doctors will just prescribe you HRT if they find out you're already taking it on your own anyway because they want you to be safe. I personally recommend getting on injecions rather than pills. They've given me great results over the past 2 years.

              • Mardoniush [she/her]
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                1
                ·
                4 years ago

                It can be much, much harder to get them outside the USA. In Europe and the Commonwealth off-label prescriptions are less of a thing.

                • uwu [she/her]
                  ·
                  4 years ago

                  This is very much a "grey market" thing. It's not 100% legal but you're very unlikely to get in trouble for it unless you're ordering testosterone to transition from FtM. I have friends in Europe who have successfully ordered bootleg HRT using the information on that subreddit so I know it's possible and pretty easy.

            • hauntingspectre [he/him]
              ·
              4 years ago

              I'm so sorry you're in that situation. Unfortunately, as an American (like most of us), it's going to be hard for us to give you good specific advice. I hate to say it, but you might be better served by transgender reddit for information (comradeship, as always, is available here!). There is a r/transgenderuk subreddit (brave people there on TERF island! Fuck TERFs). They might be able to direct you to your country's trans subreddit, if there is one.

              Are student housing co-ops a thing where you're going to school? In the US, at least, they tend to be very open minded, and MUCH cheaper than standard housing.