When they say it they’re always seem to mean it as a compliment but I kind of get offended because of the connotation behind the term ‘nice guy’. And in the back of my head there’s that suspicion that they could possibly be making a dig at me.
I dunno, I feel like in the West being called a nice XX denotes that you’re weak, or insecure, or unattractive.
dog this is advanced internet poisoning. They are almost certainly just being friendly and offering up a genuine compliment. Don't let internet shit mess with your own perceptions of people around you lol
I dunno, I feel like in the West being called a nice XX denotes that you’re weak, or insecure, or unattractive.
I think it's moreso that incels have painted a gross tone on it with their
CW
"she called me a nice guy, so that means she has to have sex with me" shit.
I think it's cool to be genuinely recognized as a nice person by someone, though.
If someone uses the word 'kind', I still feel weird about it but less so than 'nice'. I wonder if my experience with 'nice' in internet discourse is the reason.
Some people use the word interchangeably, or when they say 'nice' they mean 'pleasant to be around'
I'm always nice, so if someone said I'm nice, I'd appreciate them for noticing how nice I am
women diplomatically describing a man who they are not sexually interested in as a "nice guy" or as "nice" precedes the internet. it's not an intentional dig, it's indicating that the guy is not projecting (in their estimation) other, more scintillating or captivating qualities -- he's not weak per se, but has a weak or unaffecting personality.
as with literally everything, context matters. if someone refers to you as nice, very earnestly, or after you've just done something nice and thoughtful, it's nice to be called nice. but, if the situation is more like, women are speaking among themselves about you and one can only muster a respectful, "oh, uh, he's a nice guy," or, you're in some kind of approach with a woman and really feeling her and then she says, "you know, you're a real nice guy . . ." while pulling away, they are signaling that there isn't that attraction there. again, it's not that "nice" denotes weak or unattractive, it's that, in such situations, to be referred to only as nice, a comment of perfunctory respect, instead of anything else (e.g. handsome, passionate, fascinating, funny, so smart, etc), implies that the speaker doesn't find the guy to possess such qualities.
but generally, it's nice to be nice, and there's no need to overthink it, and if you think you're spending too much time on the internet, just do less of that.
don't assume people have negative intent towards you without reason - reason here being an unambiguous sign that they don't like you
sure, maybe everyone is secretly taking shots at you, but probably not, and you're gonna be a lot happier taking people at face value when they're being complimentary than you will be looking for the hidden slight behind every friendly remark
Assumptions are for sophisticated adversaries while you're trying to underhandedly do something of international financial importance. Not really for casual conversations
that's a good way to put it too. honestly overthinking shit is almost always the wrong move, unless you're in something high-stakes like what you outlined
General rule of thumb:
If other people are calling you nice, then you likely are. If you keep insisting to others that you are nice, you probably ain't.
I think this attitude is much older than online, "nice guys finish last" is an age-old saying. IDK if you are a man, but this idea does apply particularly to men, that men aren't supposed to be too nice because it makes them appear weak or undesirable to women. It's a toxic and misogynistic reflection of our ugly patriarchal society that a lot of us have probably internalized in some way, unfortunately.
though on the internet there is a lot of mockery of the self-ascribed "nice guy" (see: r/niceguys), meaning guys who think they are nice but are actually just creeps/assholes putting up an unconvincing front to get what they want out of others. but that doesn't apply to you at all, if people are calling you nice to your face then they mean it sincerely.
not being interested in milquotoast weenies is an artefact of patriarchy.
Til i hqve to be an imposing assholr to get pepppe to like me, real
it's important to remember that the internet still isnt real life. Most people don't know what the fuck is happening on the internet still, but we just don't stop posting.
dont you want to be nice? were you trying to be mean? this is internet poisoning but its prominent in the general culture as well. other than insecure men who need to put others down, nobody is out there calling ppl “nice” as an insult
example: i met my sister’s bf the other day and she asked what i thought of him. one of the words i used was “nice”- not bc i thought he was cringe or boring, he was actually really cool and fun to be around. he was nice bc he was kind, respectful, and caring
most people irl are not as internet poisoned as we are and lack the context around The Online Discourse(TM) so usually they mean it as a genuine complement
Probably they dont meant in a backhanded although as a person who is often called autistic i get that anxious feeling of being complimented as essentially a backhanded way to say "you are a naive idiot that doesnt understand this hahahahaha".
i mean tone and context matter but generally nice is positive. Unless we are talking about dicks lol https://youtu.be/vnuu6RUU8jM
