The next step is to forge your own meaning. It doesn't stop at "there is no meaning". Once you see the void you can also see that there is space to build and no zoning code to stop you. You can, must in fact, decide why you choose to live, why you choose to act and how you justify your actions. You are the ultimate and only authority.

That's really hard. We're used to always being able to lean on something outside ourselves for purpose and guidance. And, to some extent, you still can. Back when you believed in external, inate authorities you were choosing what you believed. Those powers, whatever they were, were never real. You were to some extent projecting your own beliefs, desires, and ideals on to those things; church, state, god, whatever.

Find those childlike beliefs and clean the ichor of false gods off of them. Look at them from every angle. Decide which ones to keep, which ones to discard, and what you need to build from scratch. Whatever you come up with, polish it until it shines. Like a blade.

Another suggestion; check out Buddhism. The Buddhists figured out the same premise from a different angle thousands of years ago. The more grounded, secular forms of buddhism have a lot to say about confronting the void of meaning and carrying on in the aftermath.

May I introduce you to the immortal dialectical science of Marxism-Leninism?

I say that half in jest, but becoming active in a communist organization really did give me a worthwhile purpose to my life and something greater to strive for.

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to me absurdism isn't so much about looking at existential meaningless light-heartedly as it is about reconciling with the notion of it—by spitting in the face of the universe's cruel indifference and arbitrarily inventing personal meaning.

it's like aiming to live a life that you alone feel is purposeful just because you can, in spite of the will of any higher power or lack thereof that tries to rob you of it.

Marx, when talking about Louis Bonaparte, wrote "[People] make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do not make it under self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing already, given and transmitted from the past."

Obviously, the point Marx was making here is that, we are all products of the accumulation of history. We would not be here, in the way that we are, if it were not for the never-ending march of time, and with it, our history. However, the inverse is also true, in that, the actions we take now and today, forever forge a link in the chain of history. Do not be distracted by the grandiose notion of "history", however. History is not all things that find their way into the pages of a textbook. History is not just the epic of time, but it is also a personal and intimate story, of which you and your relations are the subject of.

So what of the links you forge? What of your familial bonds, your connections to friends, your entanglement with your greater community? Your legacy is your relations. To say nothing matters is to reject the notion that our actions in the material world have no impact on the development of ourselves and of our future selves, and the development of those we leave behind.

If you can reframe your point of view around this notion that your actions in the world lead to developments within others, then it's difficult to see how nothing matters. Every time you show up for someone who needs assistance, it matters. Every time you take up an activity, that gives back in some way, it matters. It can be difficult to read and hear about all the events of the time we live in. It can feel as though, nothing you do moves the needle. You must take that energy and direct it locally. Once you can see the results of your local actions, you will see a change in yourself and in how you feel about what "matters".

girl i just get high

Nothing in nature has any intrinsic value, that doesnt mean you cant create one for yourself

Just imagine Sisyphus cumming or whatever the saying is

I think you're supposed to try existentialism first, then jump to absurdism.

Anyway try reading the Principia Discordia. I don't know if it hits as hard when you're not a fourteen year old atheist stuck in the religious south, but maybe.

Have you tried pushing that down deep and never dare confronting it?

One of the many problems with "stewing in ennui" types like Camus is that they represent finding meaning in life as a matter of internal psychology, not just something rational but something that is rationalized. For many people, it is engagement with the world that acts as a precondition to experiencing meaning, rather than an experience of meaning somehow preceding anything meaningful. My suggestion to you based on what you say is to go do stuff with people.

I think you need to get some shorts in a bright color, preferably flower print

Life-hack: Whenever the ennui comes knocking, just start speculating about alien life intelligent or otherwise, you'll either scare or awe yourself out of that depressive feeling, at least that's what I do

It's tough to passively live in an absurdist mentality. Especially with the heavy indoctrination into the abrahamic value structure embedded in most world cultures. It's something to keep reminding yourself of. That being said, you're allowed to give yourself a purpose that means something to you. It doesn't have to just be "everything is meaningless", it can instead be "everything is meaningless so I might as well make it better."

To say the same thing a different way. Nihilism says "nothing matters so why do anything", which is a very easy passive emotion to sink into. Absurdism says "nothing matters so why not do everything", which requires actively choosing to do something. The latter option sounds a bit more fun to me, even if it takes a little effort.

I used to be really distraught about the meaningless of life. But then one day I just woke up and thought “damn this shit sucks” and suddenly the meaning of life became pointless to me. This was before I even knew what a nihilism or camus or absurdism is.

Sorry if if didn’t help. I suppose I just found the idea of nothingness bothering me more annoying than depressing eventually.