It would be so cool to fight with Caesar in Gaul and commit genocide, bro!

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  • Bread_In_Baltimore [he/him]
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    4 years ago

    Imagine wanting to fight in both WWI and WWII. What does he think those conflicts were like lol

    • Pezevenk [he/him]
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      edit-2
      4 years ago

      Um sweaty if you had seen any movies you'd know that akshually it's everyone else dying and you're safe because you're the protagonist and also the effects are like awesome dude OK? Pls get an education.

      • SerLava [he/him]
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        edit-2
        4 years ago

        That coulda been a decent comic book movie, and I think they had planned to make it good, but then they dumped a bunch of schlock onto it.

        Specifically:

        • Almost all of the fight scenes include the Male Protagonist Guy and wonder woman standing back to back punching soldiers in the open, like invincible CGI superheroes.

        • They could have literally just had the Male Protagonist Guy sit back with his team, manning their machine gun to assist Wonder Woman. Only getting into a melee once or twice, in desperate moments.

        • Wonder Woman realizes at the beginning of the movie that he's a dumb weakling, but this doesn't matter

        Wonder Woman could have witnessed the roughly equivalent power of A) Herself as a demigoddess or whatever and B) Some random asshole with an evil machine. She could have been dismayed that such power was capable of being placed in the hands of just any asshole, without the responsibility that comes from a lifetime of training under a weird warrior culture.

        That would have made for better themes, and also better action scenes. The action scenes could have been realistic as fuck, and more exciting.

        I think they were gonna do that, but then the producers looked at Marvel movies and said "no we need scenes like this one with Thor and the Hulk"

        • hogposting [he/him,comrade/them]
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          4 years ago

          They could have literally just had the Male Protagonist Guy sit back with his team, manning their machine gun to assist Wonder Woman. Only getting into a melee once or twice, in desperate moments.

          As I recall, this was basically what they did. For instance, there's a scene where Wonder Woman is charging a trench and deflecting machine gun fire off her shield, and Male Protagonist Guy and his buddies are mostly supporting her -- exactly what you're describing.

          The problems started in the last third of the movie, when they went the "have our superhero get into a big messy CGI fight with another superhero" route. They should have gone with a finish closer to what you're suggesting: either "the big baddie was just whispering in the ears of humans who wanted to butcher each other anyway," or "there was no big baddie after all; you can't solve the fundamental problem here if you simply cut the right person in half."

          • SerLava [he/him]
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            edit-2
            4 years ago

            a scene where Wonder Woman is charging a trench and deflecting machine gun fire off her shield, and Male Protagonist Guy and his buddies are mostly supporting her – exactly what you’re describing.

            Yeah they SORT of do it at that point, but when they finally got around to kind of doing that, they also had 500 guys shooting perfectly at her shield as she stood there doing nothing. You lose the two things I wanted to see in the action scenes:

            1. What if realistic scene with machine gun vs 100 enemies, plus a beastly warrior with a bulletproof shield tearing shit up, but also needing to put effort into not getting shot.

            2. Wonder woman being able to separately see her pile of bodies, plus the guy's pile of bodies, and being disturbed that it's even possible there's an equivalency. This would be before she realizes the enemy isn't actually the evil side fighting the good side.

            And even having the CGI superhero scenes breaks the tone of the rest of the movie, which could have been really grounded. It's almost more about removing things than adding them.

            Oh also, the fucking German 17 year old farmhands fight to the last man for no fucking reason, charging with bayonets at this freakish demigod who leaps through the air and kicks people across fields, instead of running away or surrendering, which is a thing they did really easily. Having them retreat instead of being mindless death machines would have helped drive home the fact that they are just people, stuck in a horrible war.

    • bakedbri [she/her]
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      4 years ago

      Out of all the wars you could want to fight in, that is one of the more horrifying ones to actively want to be a part of. I don't know why anyone would want to actively want to do that.

  • FnordPrefect [comrade/them, he/him]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    Bent double, like old beggars under sacks, Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge, Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs, And towards our distant rest began to trudge. Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots, But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame, all blind; Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.

    Gas! GAS! Quick, boys!—An ecstasy of fumbling Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time, But someone still was yelling out and stumbling And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime.— Dim through the misty panes and thick green light, As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

    In all my dreams before my helpless sight He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

    If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace Behind the wagon that we flung him in, And watch the white eyes writhing in his face, His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin, If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs, Bitter as the cud Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,– My friend, you would not tell with such high zest To children ardent for some desperate glory, The old Lie:

    Dulce et decorum est Pro patria mori.

    SIGN.

    ME.

    UP.

    • Torenico [he/him]
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      edit-2
      4 years ago

      19k died (British) on the first day of the Battle of the Somme, this jackass would be one of them. What a fucking fun experience eh?

      • AlexandairBabeuf [they/them]
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        4 years ago

        I unironically think it'd be kind of nice to be peasant/village person in one of the more pleasant periods of pre-industrial civilization. Mostly the really tight community is appealing, and the cultural institutions in most places are cool as fuck but too disruptive to capitalism for people to go full hilt on anymore. Imagine spending weeks to get everything ready for a festival, literally everyone you know is going to be there, it lasts several days, and you get to do that sorta thing several times a year, every year. No amount of 21st century parties could compare imo.

        • astigmatic [none/use name]
          ·
          4 years ago

          Imagine spending weeks to get everything ready for a festival, literally everyone you know is going to be there, it lasts several days, and you get to do that sorta thing several times a year, every year.

          just move to mexico bro

          • AlexandairBabeuf [they/them]
            ·
            4 years ago

            they've got a more intact agrarian holiday tradition than the US but lets not pretend capitalism hasn't made it worse, like everywhere

            • astigmatic [none/use name]
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              4 years ago

              true, i mean, it’s weird. those still exist pretty widely and keep communities coherent while the participants have to sell their labor in the city and get fucked out of whatever else they have. of course it’s bad, i just mean, it hasn’t been wiped out of existence yet

    • Vayeate [they/them]
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      4 years ago

      you don't get it, he wants to be a rich celebrity millionaire in WW1. He wants to sit in bunkers planning attacks and getting to drive tanks for fun on the weekends and meeting with diplomats in fancy restaurants while wearing a cool uniform and getting called "sir"

      • Leon_Grotsky [comrade/them]
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        4 years ago

        and getting to drive tanks for fun on the weekends

        Choking to death on your own tank's exhaust fumes to own the poors

  • sailorfish [she/her]
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    4 years ago

    I hate this question with a passion. I love reading about idk ancient Greece, but who the fuck would wanna be a woman in Ancient Athens.

    And Jesus Christ, what kind of person would want to fight in a world war?? Dumbass or psycho honestly

    • Randomdog [he/him]
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      4 years ago

      who the fuck would wanna be a woman in Ancient Athens.

      Zeus, on occasion.

    • Pezevenk [he/him]
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      4 years ago

      I guess in Sparta it wouldn't be as shitty to be a woman. Although just being in Sparta was shit enough for many reasons regardless of gender.

      • sailorfish [she/her]
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        4 years ago

        And if I die in childbirth I'll be given a soldier's honours in the burial! 😍 Nice!

      • mazdak
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        edit-2
        1 year ago

        deleted by creator

        • Pezevenk [he/him]
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          4 years ago

          Unmarried youths were forbidden from having sex with each other and would be punished if caught. However, plenty of opportunity was given for them to get away with this

          Afaik this was somewhat common in Sparta, their approach to many things was "it's not bad if you do this, it is only bad if you are caught".

          Also calling Sparta "fascist" is really weird and anachronistic. I get what you are trying to say but fascism is very much a 20th century phenomenon, you can't apply these concepts to ancient Greece, similarly it is kinda silly to call other Greek civilizations liberal or socialist or whatever, the terms are just not very applicable.

  • RedArmor [he/him]
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    4 years ago

    I knew a simple soldier boy Who grinned at life in empty joy, Slept soundly through the lonesome dark, And whistled early with the lark.

    In winter trenches, cowed and glum, With crumps and lice and lack of rum, He put a bullet through his brain. No one spoke of him again.

    You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye Who cheer when soldier lads march by, Sneak home and pray you'll never know The hell where youth and laughter go.

    -Suicide in the Trenches by S. Sassoon

  • Tankiedesantski [he/him]
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    4 years ago

    The answer to that question should never be before the existence of cheap anti-biotics.

    No cool historical event is worth eating a slightly off peice of bread and shitting yourself to death.

    • Amorphous [any]
      ·
      4 years ago

      This is why time travel hypotheticals kind of need to come with the added rule "also you're immune to disease and you won't be bringing any disease with you" because without the first part, suggesting that you'd like to go back in time further than a couple hundred years is pretty much just saying "yes i want to die horribly" and without the second part you're basically saying "yes id like to commit genocide"

      With those rules in mind, there are a hell of a lot of places and times I'd like to visit. None I'd especially like to stay in though.

    • AliceBToklas [she/her]
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      4 years ago

      it was more any wound possibly killing you or any water possibly killing you. bread was chill tho

  • scamboy [he/him,any]
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    4 years ago

    WW1, known for being fun.

    Just buy a VR headset you fuckin vlogger.

  • summerbl1nd [none/use name]
    ·
    4 years ago

    nothing to see here folks, just another death drive desperately trying to fill in the gaping existential void

  • Pezevenk [he/him]
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    4 years ago

    Lmao wtf is this shit, who is like "man fighting in all those horrible wars would have been so dope" who also isn't a dumb 8 year old that doesn't know what war is?

  • Mardoniush [she/her]
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    4 years ago

    Who died on the wires, and hung there, one of two - Who for his hours of life had chattered through Infinite lovely chatter of Bucks accent: Yet faced unbroken wires; stepped over, and went A noble fool, faithful to his stripes - and ended.

    But I weak, hungry, and willing only for the chance Of line- to fight in the line, lay down under unbroken Wires, and saw the flashes and kept unshaken, Till the politest voice - a finicking accent, said: ‘Do you think you might crawl through there: there's a hole.' Darkness shot at: I smiled, as politely replied – ‘I'm afraid not, Sir.' There was no hole, no way to be seen Nothing but chance of death, after tearing of clothes.

    Kept flat, and watched the darkness, hearing bullets whizzing – And thought of music - and swore deep heart's oaths (Polite to God) and retreated and came on again, Again retreated a second time, faced the screen.

    -Ivor Gurney

    Yeah, sounds super fun.

  • WannabeRoach [none/use name]
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    edit-2
    4 years ago

    I know it is a pretty typical consequence of war being romanticized, but aside from the fear of your own death why the fuck would you think “the thing I’d want to experience most in history is going to the greatest atrocity festivals of all time to kill random people”. So bored of being a rich YouTuber that you want to lob a grenade at some 20 year old and feel satisfied as their viscera rains back to earth?

    Edit: like seriously, fuck, how many people’s minds actually go there? What about wanting to live through the 30s for something innocent, like designing airplanes, or playing jazz with musicians you admire, or something like that?