idk, maybe askchapo is a better place for this.
Does anyone have like...experience or knowledge about hiring that will calm my anxieties?
I have had several customer service jobs, and as much as I don't want to do it again I have to do something and I don't feel qualified for much else.
Looking at stuff in my area there is a part-time position at a library nearby which sounds bearable....but thinking about applying for anything just gives me anxiety.
I quit my first job after working for over a year to go back to school, but I eventually went to the psych ward and dropped out.
Then some time later I tried working at a gas station, but left a note and quit one night because I couldn't handle the hours and dysphoria.
I tried getting a part time position at a grocery store a bit after that but quit after a day or two.
Since then I have just been a neet.
I am terminally unhireable.
If I go to an interview I have no idea what I am going to say. Idk what a background check is going to reveal. I'm trying to get a hold of my life, but it feels pointless at this point, I don't pass, I can't hold down a job, even if I could no one would hire me.
wtf do I even do.
:deeper-sadness:
I'm not sure I can give you much advice, but one thing I notice about your post is that you seem to be putting up obstacles before you encounter them. Worry about what you'll say in an interview when you have an interview, worry about holding down a job when you have one, worry about a background check when you have one.
The thing to focus on now is actually completing applications and networking with people who might be able to help - there's a job at the library, do you know anyone (who knows anyone) who works there? Maybe even just go to the library and ask if there are open positions, what they're looking for, what you can do to maximize your chances of getting an interview, etc. Seriously, any face/voice time you have before your application is read goes miles toward making sure someone actually looks at it.
It's also pretty okay to lie about some things. Your gas station boss created an incredibly toxic work experience; at the grocery store, there was just a difference in expectations. Or ask friends/family members to pretend to be your prior supervisors for the purpose of references. You were never fired, you left in good standing.
Applying for jobs is one of the most awful everyday experiences - the constant, silent rejection just destroys motivation (at least it does for me). Try to systemize it - reward yourself for applications, make sure you do a minimum every day, etc.
I'm honestly thinking about just being completely honest and hoping pity gets me the job.
Idk if I can lie to people.These are obstacles you can handle down the road since you don't have any interviews right now, but when that comes you should prepare answers to why you left each job you've had previously. It actually might be helpful to look up some youtube videos of hiring managers explaining their decision making process - pity is going to work against you most of the time. They're looking to make an economic decision, not an emotional one. A "pity" narrative is probably better told as a story of perseverance, not as a tragedy.
It's also important to remember that as awful as it is, you only need to do this until you actually get a job.
I guess...but I feel like there is a difference between the mentality of someone hiring for a firm or Corp and someone for a small town library
Since then I have just been a neet. I am terminally unhireable.
Even if that's true, what's wrong with that? I think we can all agree here that society as it is is a fuck, and that you do not owe anything to it. Being unemployed has been villified and publicly shamed for decades, for a good while it was, on the ideological side, the core part of the neoliberal agenda to plant unemployment as the biggest fear in people's heads. To make workers more reluctant to resign, to make applicants more desperate for jobs, growing the reserve army of labor and strenghtening capitals's bargaining position in job interviews. We've all sucked this nonsense up for ages, the resentment of "trailer trash" or "NEETS" or "Hartzers" over here in my country, the stories about "welfare queens" and "freeloaders", the fairytales about "bootstrapping" and "from rags to riches". It's a steaming pile of garbage. It's a proto-fascist, social darwinist false consciosuness brainwashing that we've all undergone. And let me tell you, for the unemployed there's nothing better than permanently disbelieving this shit. Your worth as a person has nothing whatsoever to do with how easily you can be integrated into a capitalist profit-maximizing scheme. You are a human being and your life is inherently valuable. That you quit two underpaid, high turnover service jobs years ago says nothing about who you are as a person.
I mean, i could go and talk you through how to deal with a gap in your resume, or how to go about this job application shit in general, i've been there myself. But back when i was unemployed, accepting myself and not giving a fuck about expectations or about being valued by neoliberal society did me more good than any job application pointers. It's entirely possible that you'll never have as much free time in your life as right now, why waste it hating yourself? Tomorrow morning, monday morning, when i'm cursing capitalism in the rush hour traffic, i want you to sleep in, and to feel good about that. Because you fucking deserve it, comrade.
I'm not op, but this is really well written comrade. Thank you :heart-sickle:
Get good at lying. I slap interviews cos I can bullshit my ass off.
Yeah, this. interviews are literally just a weird social game where you lie to a capitalist.
'why do you want this job'
'i need to eat'
'no you're meant to say you want it because of your growth mindset and passion for scanning barcodes while customers berate you'
It's them telling you even before you get the job that it's okay to lie and steal from them because they're definitely going to be doing that to you too.
Do you live in a metro area or near one? If you do, there is probably at least one LGBT non-profit that can offer support. They could have connections and be able to point you places that help with career placement and they should at least have social workers and potentially free therapy (which can help with your anxiety about the job application process).
I googled a medium sized city and here’s one example: PFLAG Cincinatti.
There may also be national organizations that could help you virtually if you don’t have something local.
I live in the Greater Boston Area...so probably. But idk...I’d probably be too ashamed for something like that.
I understand that it can be difficult reaching out and asking for help. I hope you understand that there’s so many people in the same situation as you and there’s no shame in it.
If you feel like you can fill out an online form, I found this organization from Googling: JRI. It looks like they offer a lot of different services, some LGBT-focused and others not. If you fill out the form, you can still always not respond when they contact you.
Also your city subreddit or if there’s a BostonLGBT sub will probably know which organizations are the best. Where I’m from we have two big LGBT non profits and one is very white cis gay men focused, but you wouldn’t know that from googling.
Shame might be a factor, but you might also find it very empowering
The library is usually a very low pressure job, especially if you aren’t working directly with customers. In fact, even if you don’t get this job, I’d keep looking for paging/shelving opportunities at the library. Those jobs mostly go to high schoolers, college students, retirees, and people who might otherwise have difficulty finding employment. All you need to do is be able to put things in alphabetical and numerical order. Believe me, libraries are a haven for the terminally anxious and otherwise neurodiverse people. I think applying to the library job would be a good first step for building confidence.
Do you have any idea what the "senior" in senior library page would mean?
None of the requirements list prior experience or anything like that, but I'm worried it might be some kind of leadership position.Hmm, it might be that you work more hours or maybe have some soft leadership responsibilities. Likely you would be expected to work semi-independently on tasks that are a little more involved than, say, shelving fiction books. Possibly they’ll want you to give feedback on the shelves to whoever is in charge of the pages. You might be asked to train new people on certain tasks. Every library is different, but I’ve yet to see a library that hires a lead to actually take charge of pages. Usually paging is supervised by someone in circulation or reference, depending on how the library divides up work. Definitely take a close look at the job description; they’ll put in if you’re intended to be in charge of people or do any kind of managerial work.
temp agency while you teach yourself basic plumbing and construction shit
