:rich-evans-tired:

  • AbbysMuscles [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    I don't like talking about Star Wars.

    I don't like talking about the MCU.

    I don't like anything to do with the Bird Site.

    I'd avoid Hexbear on all three counts, but the entire god damn World Wide Web is comprised of exclusively these topics.

    • HornyOnMain
      ·
      2 years ago

      Nonstop Violence Among the Stars is a pretty cool name for a film but I'd want to be a sci-fi themed John Wick rip off

    • StellarTabi [none/use name]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Nonstop Violence Amongst the Stars and Journey Amongst the Stars.

      or they'd have some stupid short name like "Skywalker"

      • HornyOnMain
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        edit-2
        2 years ago

        without the context of the previous films Skywalker on its own is a pretty cool name for a film

        • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
          ·
          2 years ago

          I'm going to pretend you got banned because of how dumb this post is

  • gueybana [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    ya'll only want to stop posting stor wors when someone shits on the last jedi. Stork Works sucks and your precious last jedi sucks ASSHOLE.

      • Wertheimer [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        This is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my case against the film The Neverending Story.

        • Aryuproudomenowdaddy [comrade/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Can see the reboot of a gritty Neverending story, they just have the scene where Atreyu's horse gets sucked into the bog on loop for 90 minutes.

    • InsideOutsideCatside [they/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      The last jedi was the best movie ever made it absolutely wasn't incredibly stupid to just have like 10 support cruisers run out of gas and the remaining crew blown up only to finally suicide into the enemy at lightspeed with your very last ship that actually was worth something when you could have destroyed the imperial fleet 3x over doing that with automated lightspeed suicide

      • Nounverb [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        honestly it was a great movie. good ass cinema. Dumb babies who cant process director vision are the only ones mad at Last Jedi. It was the last great Star Wars movie

        • gueybana [any]
          ·
          2 years ago

          great movie. good ass cinema.

          :agony-shivering:

        • InsideOutsideCatside [they/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Except as always comes up, the plot only works with everyone being as stupid as possible at every possible moment i.e. the thing I said.

          It might be a minor detail to you but it bothers me so much that they suicided that ship because it means that at any point in the entire franchise they could have just shot an X-wing with an autopilot at whatever Bad Thing and it's done, gg.

          That they hadn't done so makes it forgivable because you can assume that maybe hyperspace physics don't work that way, i.e. they can't intercept objects in real space or something. But... they did it, so they can, so... the whole thing just becomes so stupid.

          Why even build a death star when you can literally just put an engine on an asteroid and destroy entire planets that way? Every single pilot heroically sacrificing themselves could have done 100x the damage just flying straight into the nearest star destroyer. Literally every x wing, all the rebel ships even, i think, have the capacity to become relativistic weapons. But instead they get fried in dogfights.

          Or... literally thrown away with a few people still on board who could have ended the entire movie 10 minutes in if they'd only turned around and jumped into their pursuers.

          It's just incredibly stupid, and that's on top of how boring a car chase in space looks visually. You can't fucking tell how fast anybody is going without any frame of reference so it was like watching the fucking police slowly roll after OJ in his Ford bronco

          • Frank [he/him, he/him]
            ·
            2 years ago

            It might be a minor detail to you but it bothers me so much that they suicided that ship because it means that at any point in the entire franchise they could have just shot an X-wing with an autopilot at whatever Bad Thing and it’s done, gg.

            At any point in WWII they could have just rammed one battleship in to another battleship!

            Star wars space combat, when they bother to think about it at all, runs on WWII naval combat tropes. And they did run a snub fighter in to a capital ship before, in Jedi. It was really silly. A guy in an A wing killed the Executer by flying in to the bridge.

            • InsideOutsideCatside [they/them]
              ·
              2 years ago

              At any point in WWII they could have just rammed one battleship in to another battleship!

              I mean the Japanese did make use of kamikaze attacks, the only difference is that planes can be shot down and might not necessarily destroy an entire ship and also they did not have the technology to autopilot them (which if they did, use missiles anyway) so there's kind of a lot of differences here

              And they did run a snub fighter in to a capital ship before, in Jedi. It was really silly. A guy in an A wing killed the Executer by flying in to the bridge.

              I don't remember that but did they jump to lightspeed? That's the thing, just ramming is pointless, but lightspeed ramming = you are a relativistic weapon carrying ridiculous amounts of energy. if a baseball is a nuke what is a xx-ton starship gonna do?

              Like they just threw away all these cruisers for nothing, with however many people still on them (I know they were evacuating to the main ship, but some "ran out of gas" and fell behind and got blown up with people still on them). And they didn't even have to. Like, a single x-wing-mass-object going at the speed of light would have destroyed like half the pursuing fleet. If the very first cruiser to run out of gas just like turned around and did this right at the beginning, not only would they have saved so many lives but also the incredibly important materiel represented by the dwindling fleet of ships. Every ship and every person is irreplaceable in the context of the conflict against the Empire.

              They could have redeemed this by giving a reason for having never done it before, but like, they don't?

              idk maybe they just don't know e=mc^2 in this universe but uh now the cats out of the bag there, I don't expect to see another lightspeed ramming in future media though

              • Frank [he/him, he/him]
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                edit-2
                2 years ago

                https://www.starwars.com/video/the-destruction-of-the-executor

                I don't recall Star Wars doing anything with RKVs or tricky orbital weapons. Most of the media I've seen they stick with lasers and missiles. The series really does run on WWII tropes; Ships have to close to visual range to fight, fighters handle as though there was an atmosphere. Naval guns are big installations on the surface of the ships, or even in shielded bays along the side of the ships and they have actual gunners and support staff instead of computerized gun laying and aiming. Nothing moves very fast relative to anything else. No one is doing gun runs at 40,000kph relative to the target ship.

                I agree the "Stern chase in space" plot was pretty weak. Personally I would have found another way to build tension in the story. It also made the conflict look very very small; The fate of the galaxy hangs on this tiny handful of ships? Okay whatever.

                This is the trope Johnson was going for but I think even for Star Wars it was too much "Space is an ocean" to really work. In all prior media we're used to capital ships and even fighters jumping in to and out of the area unopposed. The old EU stuff even created interdictor ships that would pull anything in the area out of hyperspace because the unlimited mobility of hyperdrive equipped ships created so many narrative issues.

                https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SternChase

                • InsideOutsideCatside [they/them]
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  2 years ago

                  Yeah see, if they went to hyperspace the whole damn ship (or at least a very large portion of it) would have just been deleted from existence. I'm not sure if A-Wings have independent hyperdrives though, but I know X-wings do for sure (i.e. Luke traveling everywhere solo)

                  also lmao watching that scene today was unintentionally hilarious in so many ways, the little fireball on the bridge, the fact that literally destroying just the bridge instantly kills the entire ship (imperial design continues to be flawless), and then the special effects when it hits the death star

          • MiraculousMM [he/him, any]
            ·
            2 years ago

            Say what you want about TLJ but Johnson definitely had a vision. The thematic ideas in that movie, however poorly executed, are far more interesting than any other film in the franchise.

            JJ only knows how to make pandering mystery box trash

  • Coca_Cola_but_Commie [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I was going to complain that I can't because I haven't seen any other movies, but that's not true. I recently watched Quiet Rows, an art movie about a dysfunctional middle class family. Standard nuclear family, parents are unhappy, their two kids are old enough to be out of the house but still live at home. They decide to go on vacation to try to reconnect. But the sunny vistas are sharply contrasted with the grey, miserable lives of the family. Seemed to me that the movie was a kind of satire of those romcoms where the old married couple learn to fall in love again. But here, you have a father who can't connect with his children, and by the end of the movie he has failed to resolve that conflict. A mother, who has chosen to meet her children's indifference with indifference of her own. And then the parents, despite professing their love for one another, are always cold and distant with their partner.

    At the 3/4's mark, the mother is walking along a beach. This is the spot in the happier, hollywood version of this film where the family would've begun to reconnect, then something would happen to make that fall apart, and then here they'd realize they love each other. But does epiphany wait on this beach? No, it's fucking Darth Vader. He pulls out his lightsaber. The mother spots a lightsaber laying in the sand and snatches it, then proceeds to duel Vader for a full fifteen minutes in a bizarre display of acrobatics. But this is the sith lord at the height of his dark power, at the lowest depths of his inhuman cruelty, and in the end he cuts her down. Stormtroopers reach the resort. The father sees them first, flees to find his family. It seems uplifting, at last the father will prove his masculine virtue by defending his family from danger, but then the troopers find them, and the father, in a moment of desperation and abject cowardice, uses his own son as a human shield. Both are cut down. The daughter manages to escape out onto the beach, but collapses in the surf, the resort burning behind her, the figures of out-of-focus stormtroopers approaching. The last shot of the movie is of an old polaroid of the family from when the kids were young, everyone smiling, which had served as a too-obvious metaphor for the pointlessness of trying to recreate the past, discarded on the sand as smoke drifts over it.

    I hated the movie, it didn't make any sense.

  • Crucible [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Just wait for Zack Snyder's not-star wars movie to stir things up some more

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      There's that creep-Cage one coming out soon. Probably with creeping on the lead actress during production.