Gator, easily. Hippo is the worst option, then bear, then tiger. Gator probably won't get me at all because I'm more maneuverable on land, and since I know it's there I won't go by water. Tiger will only attack me if I can't see it and it's stressed. I can just stare it down for 20 minutes. Bear might not attack if I play dead or am very loud. Hippo will just attack me because it's a stupid angry beast.
Hippo will just attack me because it’s a stupid angry beast.
Idk if I can blame an animal for attacking humans on sight tbh. Seems like the smart thing to do.
it's a good idea, but the hippo is not smart or doing it for intelligent reasons.
Whoever put me in this knock off Squid Game is probably just going to kill me afterwards, so I'm picking the bear and testing my theory that bears are just big dogs and if you are pure of heart they will just follow you around and play catch.
He knew what he was doing going out that late in the season and he's a fucking piece of shit for bringing that girl out there with him.
Crocodiles can chomp really hard but the muscles to re-open their mouths are very weak. A child could hold a crocodile's mouth shut for 20 minutes.
... unless that's alligators I'm thinking of.
Learned this in an episode of Magic School Bus and I'm never gonna forget it.
... except whether it was crocodiles or alligators.
One you can hold their jaw shut until later, while the other you hold shut until after a while.
Croc. Easily. Chances are pretty overwhelming with that one that if I don't fuck with it, it won't fuck with me. Stay out of ambush range and you're pretty safe. Mythbusters tried to get chased by a croc for an episode to see if zig zagging was better thsn running and it turns out they just wont chase
Didn't they essentially evolve to just vibe with their mouths open until prey happens to walk by?
They have a good initial leap to get stuff in a certain range but aren't gonna pursue outside of that first burst and would probably suck at it if they did.
The long legged crocs probably went extinct for a reason
Bear in the water would be worse than tiger. There's a video of one killing a bull elk in a Yellowstone National Park river. It swims as fast as a moose and effortlessly drowns a fully-grown elk stabbing it with its horns. That's a biological tank I refuse to even hike around until I've got a bigger gun.
Even then, if the bear is charging the chances of you putting it down its a gun is very slim.
Even if you shot it in the heart, it'll still maul you to death.
That's why I'm aiming for a high capacity 10mm. Controllable enough to shoot it at least a dozen times. If it still gets me it deserves the kill.
And this is why avoidance is still the Golden rule of bear encounters.
The only way to stop a charging bear with a gun is a well-placed hit to the brain, they'll just shrug off body shots with all of that mass; and their skulls are very thick. You're gonna want at least a 44 Magnum, the 10mm will literally bounce off of their skull if it's not a miracle shot.
Bears are awesome and beautiful creatures, not to be fucked with.
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least likely to survive the fall
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you are most likely to survive your fall by landing on it
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Hippopotami spend most of the daylight lounging in water in large groups EXCEPTS WHEN THEY ARE FLYING. At night they venture out of the water to graze alone EXCEPTS WHEN THEY ARE FLIEING. They are sluggish on land WHEN NOT FLYING, but can still reach speeds of 30 miles per hour OR MACH 3.4 WHENS FLYING.
As long as it's not starving or being intentionally stressed the tiger probably wouldn't attack as long as you're standing, facing it, and keeping as much distance as you can. They're ambush predators and even maneating tigers generally go after sitting targets from behind. The fact that it's trapped in there with you is probably the most dangerous factor, because it may just freak out and attack you preemptively from stress.
Overall the gator's probably the safest bet, because it's even less likely to freak out and attack from stress than the tiger. So as long as it's not starving and you don't go fuck with it you should be fine.
I sit on the croc and ride him to the prize room and take the $100 million by hand and snappy (that's what I named him) bites the security guards.
Crocs/Gators, among these 4, are probably the laziest predators, least likely to attack humans, slowest on land, and least likely to coerce you out of a tree.
I think gators only need to eat like once a week in the wild and then spend the rest of the time just lying in the sun or floating around. So a large majority of the time they just aren't interested in hunting for food.
Worst case scenario, the gator is the most feasible to make harmless
tiger, ofc
i don't think i'll survive or anything, i just wanna hug the big kitty
oh shit see now i stand a chance, before i definitely would have avoided eye contact
good lookin' out, now we're in this thing to win it
I would simply use the "blink slowly and act disinterested until it comes for belly scritches" method
first off don't make eye contact making eye contact is a sign you're about to attack.
Croc. IIRC a piece of rope is all you need to keep those jaws closed
A great uncle of mine used to steal baby gators from nests and sell them by the roadside. He got chased by a mom once when there was nothing nearby to climb but a fence post, and stayed treed up there for what he claimed was hours while she snapped below him. Now, was he lying? Very possibly. But still, the gator is the only animal on that list that could even potentially be escaped by a 10 year old by climbing a fence post, so that's my choice.
I've read that people in the mangrove forests of India started wearing masks on the backs of their heads and it has cut down on tiger ambushes, so I guess tiger is my second choice if I can have a mask.
