Half-Life 3 announced. America collapses before its released in 2031
For everyone scratching their heads...
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Irish_Unification_of_2024
The Biden cat is removed from the WH for attacking people.
There will be pictures of Trump's penis.
Biden falls and is actually hurt.
Zelensky is replaced.
Trump narrowly loses the general election, promises to run again.
Biden falls, fractures his hip, and is removed under the 25th amendment because leaders need strong hips.
Trump’s penis gets leaked, conservative men spend hours making memes out of it convincing themselves their effort were to own the libs
Someone leaks Hunter’s penis pictures in retaliation
hunter's dick pics have been leaked since like 2019 lol mtg even showed some on the floor of congress (albeit censored)
A republican candidate for the house or state senate in one of the Dakotas will literally kill their opponent with a gun during a debate and get elected.
A truck full of uranium waste will disappear. The story will be covered by all news agencies for exactly one week and then never be mentioned again. In 2025, a dirty bomb will be set off by "Hamas" in a major population center.
An article will come out revealing that Biden's aides have secretly been testing his food because they're afraid of Kamala Harris poisoning him. This will not affect Kamala's approval rating in either direction.
Someone will be murdered by a white women for picking up litter in a Walmart parking lot because her wine friends told her that it was a secret way for pedophile crime rings to pass messages to eachother.
In that same town there will be a single article written about an underage prostitution ring being run by a bunch of retired state troopers for superbowl games. No one will read it.
There will be a massive civil war on twitter over whether or not black people need to "take a break so that we can focus on antisemitism right now."
Someone will leave cum on Rand Paul's desk in the senate.
AI fake fools a politician who complains on TV -200
Political assassination anywhere in the world +180
Joe Biden dies +150
A VP becomes president +300
Legal battle for whether Israel pledges trump free speech -100
Israel wins the legal battle +400
A fascist doesn't become president +99999
Bitcoin's price changes by $40,000 +200
Retail real estate prices collapse +300
Retail real estate gets bailed out +600
Any once in a lifetime economic collapse +200
Any once in a lifetime weather event +200
US involvement in an African military conflict +300
please refrain from using yankkkee odds, thank you
Death to America
I don't know how they work outside the UFC and I think I fucked up using Investopedia
i cannot read vegas odds and i refuse to learn.
represent the odds in dollars or else gambling is banned
edit: i will accept fractional odds, begrudgingly
decimal odds are the superior format and i will die on this hill
Death to America
Any once in a lifetime weather event +200
There will be a few of these
Converting this to decimal odds like a normal person:
AI fake fools a politician who complains on TV: 1.5
Political assassination anywhere in the world: 2.8
Joe Biden dies: 2.5
A VP becomes president: 4 (why is this less likely than Biden kicking the bucket?)
Legal battle for whether Israel pledges trump free speech: 2
Israel wins the legal battle: 5
A fascist doesn't become president: 1001
Bitcoin's price changes by $40,000: 3
Retail real estate prices collapse: 4
Retail real estate gets bailed out: 7
Any once in a lifetime economic collapse: 3
Any once in a lifetime weather event: 3
US involvement in an African military conflict:4
What I should have done for that VP becomes president is Trump wins and then dies for a big 500 odds payout
alongside a sizeable Biden dies at any point this year for a 100 payout (which is on there)
Well see a coup or attempted coup in a EU member state.
Some German politician thats anti-us gets merced.
The newly created American army bases in Denmark lead to assassination(s) of one or more "left" organizers in Denmark. Also just regular army base bullshit.
A new disease starts spreading among cattle. The farmers resist all attempts at regulation, China is blamed.
I lose weight, but because of something bad happening.
A priceless piece of art is destroyed.
Lynetteholmen leads to drastic dieoff of the recently introduced cod-population in the Baltic.
China produces a blockbuster akin to RRR.
Merger between steam and some other platform.
We'll start seeing Ukrainian Nazis doing ISIS shit in other European countries.
A priceless piece of art is destroyed
There's an upcomming British show that's supposedly bought controversial art and will have the audience decide if it should be burned.
The Milei regime starts murdering protestors.
A western ship is damaged by Ansarallah
At least one high-profile assassination is attempted by Trump supporters.
Supporters of the losing side of the American election refuses to recognise the result.
The winner of the 2024 US presidential election dies before being able to take office.
At least one more member of Lars Løkke Rasmussen's astroturfed centrist party is forced to resign due to doing something weird, pathetic and/or off-putting.
Lars Løkke Rasmussen himself will be caught red-habded in another corruption scandal, but will not be forced to resign.
The new Danish king, being absolutely dogshit at public speaking, will stumble over his own words and say something incredibly stupid.
At least one coup attempt in Ukraine.
Three or more new sanctions packages against Russia.
Lars Løkke makes me hate the Danish population. "Ej who cares that he embezzled funds? They're all corrupt liars anyway".
- THEN DONT FUCKING VOTE FOR THE CORRUPT LIARS.
- LARS LØKKE IS LITERALLY CALLED THE "QUOTA KING" FOR HIS CORRUPTION, its at a wildly different level than the rest of the ghouls assembled in the government. he has countless blatant proven scandals. Even if you say that they all do it, he does it at such a higher frequency and amount that it cannot be hidden
But he's "the most skillful political craftsman" because he manages to bounce back every time his incompetency and corruption is exposed. And you want to vote for people who argoing to be good at doing the job, right?
China produces a blockbuster akin to RRR.
Hoping this one comes true. RRR was tight
We'll start seeing Ukrainian Nazis doing ISIS shit in other European countries.
I hadn't considered this but honestly seems somewhat likely depending on how things pan out.
Trump dies like a month or two before the election
This throws the trump/qanon base into chaos. Some dive deeper into their fantasies, trump isn't dead he faked his death so he could do covert ops and lead the white hats. Others lose their minds and accuse the deep state of assassinating him. There's isolated incidents of stochastic terrorism, but mostly his base is too cowardly and unorganized to do anything, plus they'd rather watch their shows than take any action, so nothing really happens except for a brief increase in funny/sad facebook screenshots.
All the chaos results in Biden being reelected.
Biden dies like the day after he's inaugurated.
Biden's new VP becomes president. Finally, we have the best woman for the job!
I unironically believe that Hillary Clinton would strangle Biden to death with her bare hands in the oval office to take his spot.
And then one of her psycho failure acolyte assistants walks in while she's panting over his crumpled corpse and says "Uhhhhh, he's not getting up, is he?"
Trump dies before election, wins by write-in because supporters refuse to believe it. Running mate Vince McMahon becomes president.
Republican party actually has navigate this shambles, because they put Meatball Ron on the ballot as they can't nominate a literal corpse but he only got 4% of votes nationwide lol
Trump's dad lived to be 93 and his mom lived to 88. Trump himself is only 77. He's probably got at least another 10 years in him.
trump got the vax though so he only has 2 years left to live at most
Every single moment of 2024 is going to be worse than 2023. So imagine 2023 again but worse and normie dipshits getting increasingly belligerent and unhinged when any of this is pointed out.
Cottage cheese-filled pineapples ala Marguerite Patten become a minor trend on Tiktok for a week.
Your parents get an unofficial separation but are too poor to actually move out so instead chalk sales go way up as miserable boomers with brains fucked up my extremist gender ideology dived their houses in two. Children kill themselves to avoid serving as the middlemen messenger who have to tell the other parent about which bills haven't been paid.
Switch 2 is announced and disappoints as it only does the bare-minimum people expect a console to do. Live-action Zelda trailer drops and people who think video game movies are good defend it using their mental health as a shield.
A "mysterious" disease colloquially known as super-COVID exists and kills 1-2% of the population. The current vaccinations that are 12.5-25% effective against it and cost $125 will be used to blame the deaths on individuals' financial irresponsibility.
Mel Gibson denounces NATO and I'm forced to stan and watch the Lethal Weapon films again.
Edit: Bruce Willis' children speak into his barely-conscious brain via an earpiece to tell people to vote for Biden in a commercial.
George RR Martin finishes writing The Winds of Winter but the sole manuscript is stolen. the thief anonymously sells the book to the highest bidder, who turns out to be Martin Shkreli, buying it for 69 bitcoins. he burns the manuscript live on Twitch
page by page
Maybe hold each one up to the camera once it's 20% gone, and give little glimpses of what was there before it vanishes into ash.
Maybe in 1 year is too soon but building off the Chinese balloon story this year
Made in Mexico Chinese EVs start slowly getting sold in USA before the US can fully roll out new tariffs to stop them. Americans go batshit insane and start destroying any Chinese EV they see on the road. At least 1 person gets shot while inside one
Austria had a bit of a hilarious shitfit recently on the grounds of the EUs "lowest bidder every time means best use of tax money" regulation for public acquisition awarded a fleet contract for EVs to chinese company BYD because turns out they're the lowest bidder and suddenly every fan of big boy adult lean state economic obligation suddenly turned into a protectionist when their rules inevitably lead to pretty much exactly what they want to happen
Palestinian cat goes viral. Israel will try desperately to get an Israeli to get back the narrative which completely backfires with every embarrassing attempt.
Ukraine war will spread to Moldova, crashing the economy of the maldives.
Honestly, most westerners would be more outraged at the zionists murdering a Palestinian cat or dog than they get at them murdering a Palestinian child
Yeah but then the IDF will tweet out "dogs are Hamas" and thousands of libs will put their dogs down.
Ngl I think this wouldn't work, whyite people fuckin love dogs. Whiyte people love dogs more than their kids.
I’ll probably further my transition, come out to more people, start dressing more femme, and maybe even get my hands on some of the good stuff
gonna get into a fistfight thinking it's going to be cool like in yakuza and as it turns out hand to hand combat is not as cool as it is in yakuza
Lies, bicycles function as weapons just as well in real life as they do in Yakuza.
HES NOT SKILLFUL THE MEDIA IS JUST SHIT AHHHHHHH
