Hoping to hear everyone’s week went well this past week. Go out there and have a great week this week everyone! 
Is it bad that I'm kinda pogged about using my identity as a cudgel against liberals
"but you have to vote bloo! if you don't you're sacrificing queer people for your ego—""
"I am trans and I will not be voting for Joseph Robinette Biden Jr."You will quickly learn to hate how the cis moderate will continue to talk about you instead of with you even when you are actively engaged in a one on one conversation with them.
a long time ago i bought a trans man a dick prosthetic and now that trans man is passing on the dick to another trans man that decided he wanted it (supposedly you can get them sanitized?)
i love the image of me just chain reacting the whole trans masc community with penises
moved part of my stuff into new apartment, took my bed apart, will be sharing an apartment with 2 other trans women soon
wow i'm really nervous
venting abt transphobia
Transphobic assholes be like "your dead name will be on your grave stone" nah bitch please there will be no name on my gravestone I am going to end up in a mass grave the way you are making this country you do realize that
My gravestone is gonna say
"Laugh while you can
You'll be down here soon"
Serious question:
How do you tell if you're experiencing gender dysphoria or just regular store brand depression?
How much do you hate looking in a mirror and why do you hate it?
Sometimes I hate it a lot because of my masculine features. In particular , my facial hair will drive me nuts lot. Body hair, too. Other times I'm like, "I'm pretty handsome, actually"
Any time I achieve a femme look, though, I like it better. Think I'd rather people in public assume I'm a woman
That describes me pretty accurately, especially before I started transitioning. I hated looking in the mirror and didn't know why. As I got older and my features more masculine I hated it more and more. Now that I'm transitioning and getting electrolysis, I hate it less and less.
Hell yea you go girl. Idk much about laser, I just went straight to electrolysis which takes slower.
I was reading in another thread that if you have light skin but dark hair, then starting with laser is good and then use electrolysis to clean it up.
Maybe someone here can confirm.
Yeah that works pretty well. I'm having my tenth laser session on monday and the only dark stubble that remains visible is half a John Waters mustache on my left upper lip and some hairs under my nose. I haven't needed orange concealer since about session 6 or 7. When my health insurance pays for it, i'm gonna clean the remainder up with electrolysis afterwards, especially the grey hairs on my chin, but i really went from "my beard dysphoria is murdering me" to "i'm a girl who thinks about getting rid of some annoying facial hair, but is unsure if she needs to" just with laser.
Can confirm! I am on the tail end of what laser can do for me with very dark hair on quite fair skin after 7 sessions. This is the lower end of number of laser sessions. Some folks with thicker hair can require as much as double that many sessions or more and then electrolysis to kill off the persistent hairs. Just a personal recommendation if it is available to you, as laser can be quite painful. If you have a pcp prescribing your hrt, ask if they can prescribe emla cream(and check if you have any allergies to it) it is a more potent topical analgesic than you can buy over the counter in the united states. Taking 2 acetaminophen(again, make sure you’re not allergic) two hours before your session will also help cut the pain a bit. You got this, girl!
Also check what kind of laser is available to you in your area. Depending on your skin tone, the alexandrite lasers are currently the most effective for fairer skin individuals. Call ahead, and they should tell the model or just ask during the consult. Last thing: take aftercare seriously so you minimize chances of getting a burn!
I didn't know what I was feeling was gender dysphoria until after I cracked my egg. It was one of the reasons it took me so long (late 20s), I didn't get what people were describing as dysphoria for my life. Of course looking back, I totally did and there were plenty of signs. But at the time I didn't know.
You're allowed to experiment and see what makes you happy! If it gives you euphoria, do it. You don't have to put a lable on it right away, lables are mostly for medical stuff anyway like HRT or whichever surgeries.
I came out to my friend this past weekend, and it was easily one of the happiest days of my life. I was euphoric all day, and it felt like my entire life fell into place.
Every day since then, I've been deeply depressed to the point where I don't even want to be awake. I don't know why, and I don't know where my happiness went or if it's even true anymore.
Edit: sorry to dump. That kind of just fell out of me. Thank you for your experience
That's so awful, I hope things brighten for you soon. Between dysphoria and depression, there's obviously a lot of interplay. Being that down for over a week sounds more like depression to me judging by the bit you've said here. Especially if nothing is making you happy or the things that used to just aren't cutting it.
There's not really a short cut for depression or any mood disorder, but many people have and it's possible for you too. Some of the "easiest" (nothing is truly easy when you're feeling as down as you have) is to keep a regular sleep schedule and meal schedule. Meds can help but it takes a minute. It's weird but sunshine and the outdoors can help too.
For gender dysphoria, the treatment is transition - so whatever that means for your gender identity is what you should keep doing and trying to do/experimenting with. Binding if breasts bother/painting toe nails if you wanna femme whatever it is (I didn't ask earlier lol, don't wanna assume) are things that can be done that are more easily hidden if you don't feel safe in public. Having a friend you're out with is great because then you can hang out with them as out as you feel ready for!
Thank you :)
I'm trans femme. At least I think I am. I should lose the he/him pronouns.
I actually came out to my friend recently, but I've been out to my wife for a while, so I can be myself at home when I'm not being crushed at work.
I think one issue I have is that often I don't WANT to do those gender affirming things when I feel this way. Probably depression.
Actually, I decided I was going to shave and do my make-up after work today even if I'm still depressed. Even if I don't feel up to it. Thinking about this has made me feel a bit better.
coming out almost always creates a rubber band effect for me. it's like the vulnerability of it all is extremely triggering? and depending on my closeness to the person/people it can take me anywhere between a couple days to a week or two to emotionally recover. i think this is somewhat common bc i've seen trans people on reddit talk about it too
Thank you. This makes me feel a lot better, and I can brace for it now
I'm actually feeling much better today
It's kinda funny how hard some labels are to apply on myself. Calling myself trans feels wrong, but saying I want to be transfem does not. I'll say all day how much I wish I was born a lesbian but calling myself a transwoman just makes me feel weird. But I can call myself an egg and that sits fine with me. but what do eggs hatch into
It took me months into literally being out as nonbinary to most of my school before I finally felt comfortable enough to call myself “trans” without feeling like an imposter who didn’t deserve it. Labels are funny.
I still feel like an imposter transwoman from time to time. It's an awful feeling. One would think I'd get over it at some point.
but what do eggs hatch into
Dragons? Dragons come from eggs right? Trans people too, so I guess its a 50/50 chance.
Labels are weird and annoying.
The type of dragon I was thinking of: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/juuou-mujin-no-fafnir/images/d/d2/Tear_Lightning.png/
spoiler/CW
Tear says she's a dragon, for those who don't know. Wouldn't recommend the show - harem anime and the usual CWs with anime harems...
Ooh, an anime girl dragon not a fire breathing kind. I don't really watch anime, I know nothing about Tear.
I'm still down though.
I'm nonbinary transfem and I also don't relate to "woman". My identity really grew out from wanting people to not perceive me as a "man". I wanted to be a beautiful queer little femcreature that other queer femcreatures adore. As I experience femininity, particularly within cishet society, I find myself even more turned off by any expectations of gender, and emboldened in my own identity and selfexpression. It's a good thing 🫠
I still feel weird calling myself a woman. Im kinda non binary though. I feel very comfortable calling myself transfem
I’m being absolutely crushed by dysphoria right now and have been the last couple days.
Talk of dysphoria. Specifically childhood and lacking a uterus.
I can’t handle it right now. Everything I’ve done the last few days I swear has found a way to trigger my remaining dysphoria. I keep being reminded that my egg cracked in my 30s. That I started transitioning in my 30s. That I never had and never will have a proper childhood or any of the experiences therein. And then I keep being reminded that I can’t have children. I don’t have a uterus to carry a child. I am extremely unlikely to ever be able to adopt due to being a polyam transbian. I’ll never have the experience of raising a child and helping them experience the world and help them succeed in their lives. Never ever will I be able to.
I just can’t all of this right now. With all of it being heavily exacerbated by PMDD and I’m just absolutely crippled by negative emotion right now. I want to cry, but I don’t want my partners to catch on. I’m also afraid how PMDD me will respond. I don’t want to inadvertently hurt anyone.
actually feeling good for once today and thinking that i might just make it
i stopped taking my hrt for a couple days but i'm back on it and getting back on really boosted my mood
boob
also i think that restarted my breast growth?? i've been told before that briefly stopping then starting hrt again can help with growth but i thought that was just made up bs but this is the itchiest/sensitive they've been since like the first few months of hrt. i really really really hope this isn't just cope, they're too small and spaced apart right now and it looks fucked up so i really hope that gets fixed soon. my chest/rib/shoulder area is second only to my face in terms of dysphoria so if that could get sorted out and start looking like actual boobs instead of moobs then that's be a huge weight off of my mind
.
also also i'm going to start trying to avoid /tttt/ and associated subreddits and discords, i was just festering in my self-hatred and being in an environment where other people egg that on is so addictive but also destructive. i do hate myself but i've got to learn not to if i ever want to be happy and i'll never learn how by staying there. i've got really bad self-destructive impulses (hence why i stopped hrt) and i've really got to work on that
finally i'm going to try and push myself to actually do more for my transition in the next week or two. beyond hrt i haven't really done anything else which is probably why i still don't pass at all, i've just been hoping it'll do all the work but it seems like that isn't going to happen for me. i've mostly been too afraid of trying anything more feminine out of the fear that it'll make me look/feel even worse and more masculine, so i still haven't really ever done makeup or voice training or learning fashion etc. so i'm going to actually give makeup a go here really soon
Good!!! So proud of you!!! Keep it up girlie!!! 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🥰🥰🥰🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
also also i'm going to start trying to avoid /tttt/ and associated subreddits and discords
Based alert. The only good thing that comes out of there is DIY guides.
Congratulations in general, none of what you mentioned is easy but you've got this.
Is there a better feeling than putting on a simple femme outfit and lazing about at home all day while the euphoria washes over you? I don't think there is.
CW: transphobia, violence
I got hate crimed and now I'm afraid to get on the train.
A couple weeks ago I was cornered on the light rail by a man screaming homophobic slurs at me and threatening to beat me if I said anything or looked at him. Pretty textbook homophobic hate crime, though the guy clearly had some mental health stuff going on. He then got off on the next stop, fortunately, but I'm still pretty shook by the whole situation. Particularly, that this was a pretty full train car and nobody did anything to try and stand up for me - everyone just kept glued to their phones during and after, leaving me to get off the train a crying mess a few stops later. I can't even blame people for not intervening in the moment - there have been a few high-profile stabbings here of good samaritans confronting bigots - but the fact that everyone ignored it after as well... I still think I live in maybe the best city on earth to be trans, but that was devastating.
I got back to work and my team was super supportive, boss drove me home, it was nice. It was also right before my planned vacation with the bf's family, so I got to start that a day early.
But when I returned to work this morning, I realized I'm still kind of scared. My normal bus to work is usually crowded enough that nobody can get up to anything, but I used to really prefer the rail and now I don't know if I can keep riding it. I want to stop at the store to grab groceries on my way home, but that would mean getting on the big unprotected train car and idk if I'm up for that.
Shit sucks. I've been out since 2008 and experienced lots of little transphobic aggressions, but this is the worst I've ever dealt with and the only time to really stick to me like this.
In brighter news the rest of this month has been lovely. I went to my bf's hometown to spend a week with his family, came home and got super fucking sick (that part was actually awful, I was bedridden with a double ear infection), but got better just in time for us to spend a weekend at the beach with my family. Feels good finally having a partner where both families like us, very new to me.
I went and saw I Saw The TV Glow last night and I think it was a bad print because it messed up my eyes and they won't stop leaking today
Actually had a decent conversation come from grindr and got her phone number so we could talk without being bombarded by dick pics constantly. A fellow transwoman and she seems pretty rad.
glad to hear it
